Hey bestiee! Wanna know the secret to keeping your relationship hot and spicy without all that drama? Believe it or not, it doesn’t involve grand gestures or cheesy lines.
All you need to do is throw in some little communication nuggets and show your partner how much you care.
Because intimacy isn’t just about keeping the physical attraction alive. It’s about building an emotional connection with the person you love—feeling seen, heard, and appreciated.
And if you think the spark with your boo is fading faster than your phone battery, it’s about time you become more expressive.
Lucky for you, today I’m gonna talk about 11 things that you must tell your partner more often to improve intimacy. I’ll also share some major relationship no-nos. Scroll down for the secret love sauce!
These things should be written on your hand to increase intimacy in your relationship!
1. “I Love You.”
“C’mon. Seriously? This is your first point, Harman?”
Yes, babe. It’s the little things that matter the most in a relationship. (Amazing how often we forget to say it.)
“I love you” is a classic ingredient you must use at least once a day to reinforce the foundation.
- Got into a fight with your hubby? Use it as a peacemaker: “You know I love you, right? Let’s sort this out properly because I don’t wanna ruin this.”
- Or sign off with a “Love you” and a kiss when leaving for work.
Hot tip: Don’t be boring with it! Spice things up. Maybe leave a cute note in their lunchbox, or whisper it in their ear, or shout from the rooftops (kidding, MAYBE).
2. “I Like That You…”
Wanna see your guy blush????
Compliment him for his personality, looks, and ideas—basically whatever makes him, HIM.
We all crave attention and your boyfiee is no exception. He wants to be seen and appreciated, especially by you.
So go beyond the basics and shower him with appreciation. It could be something like “I like your smile. It’s soo contagious.” or “Hey, that shirt looks really good on you. Let me take a snap.”
Being specific shows, you’re paying attention to your partner and are not just dropping insincere comments.
3. “I Can’t Imagine My Life Without You.”
Here’s a truth bomb: vulnerability is hot.
Don’t you love the fact that your partner chose YOU in the entire world? That you matter the most in his life? To a point that you complete it?
That’s exactly what he needs to hear from you. That he’s reliable and you can’t imagine your life without him. His presence livens up the room. You look forward to spending each day with him—doing little and big things together.
But wait a sec. I don’t want you to fake it. Don’t express this anytime or every time.
Saying that you can’t live without a person should be personal, meaningful, and beautiful. Make sure you say it out loud at the right time.
4. “Don’t Worry. We’re in This Together.”
Nothing improves intimacy better than showing genuine support to your partner.
Console him by saying that he’s not alone, you’re gonna sort this out together. “Tell me everything” or “Tell me more about it” are some great ways to get him talking about the matter.
Learn about his problems, and offer solutions if possible. Motivate him to express his thoughts by asking “How do you feel about all this?” and really listen.
Because trust me girl, that will help curb his overthinking.
There’s nothing more intimate than knowing someone has got your back and you can always fall back on them.
5. “Thank You For…”
Thanking your partner is relationship gold. It makes him feel noticed (and like a million bucks).
You can slip in a simple “Thank you” while doing dishes with your partner or watching Netflix. And when he asks “For what?”, just smile and say “For everything.”
But don’t stop there.
Notice the little things he does for you and appreciate that. Like when he cooks your favorite dish, remembers to buy your favorite snack, pleases you in bed, or massages your back when you’re on your period.
Thank him every single time. Because he deserves it.
6. “I Thought About You Today.”
This one is like a surprise hug.
Saying “I thought about you today” means that he is on your mind even when he’s not around. That just solidifies your commitment and shows how much you miss your partner.
Again, you don’t have to unnecessarily push it. Maybe you suddenly remembered a joke he cracked or saw something that reminded you of him. Or even daydreamed about him!
Just share that sweetness with your partner and I’m sure he’ll be on cloud nine.
7. “You Look So Hot.”
Even physical intimacy needs a verbal push, sometimes. It’s like hitting a refresh button on your relationship to reignite the spark.
You can go with direct compliments like “You look so hot in that…” or “You’re so sexy when you…”
Another way is to convey how they make you feel, like “You turn me on so badly”, “I can’t get enough of you”, and so on.
I like the second method more, because that boosts your man’s ego to please you in bed and gets the ball rolling.
But don’t overdo it. Because that can make you look as if you’re just badly craving sex.
8. “How Was Your Day?”
You spend a major lot of your day working, away from each other. And that often becomes an obstacle, blocking all communication.
So here’s what I like to do. Talk about our day—daily grind, office gossip, who did what, upcoming events, etc.
Trust me, it brings you closer because you make an effort to understand each other’s worlds.
So, simply pop a “How was your day?” and make it a habit to spend some quality time after coming home.
9. “I Am Sorry.”
Need a superpower to save your relationship? Use the S-word (SORRY)!
Half of your love-life troubles would be swept away the moment you apologize. But don’t use the sorry card every time and take things for granted.
You must mean it.
It should show that you care about your relationship and want to fix things. After all, we all mess up sometimes.
Hot tip: I know, we all have disagreements and fallouts. But sometimes, it’s okay to apologize even if you think you’re right. Your relationship will thank you.
10. “I Respect You.”
Saying “I respect you” is not that simple. It’s not as if you’re confessing your love that you can do it anytime.
I suggest you bring it up in moments of heat, especially during a disagreement to show that you respect his opinions, even if they don’t match yours.
When you respect a person, you say that you value their boundaries and their uniqueness. This makes it easy to navigate the differences in your relationship.
Some other ways to show that you respect your partner are:
- Support their dreams and goals.
- Listen actively to their thoughts.
- Consider their needs and priorities.
- Trust their judgment.
- Being mindful of their feelings.
11. “I’m Feeling…“
Your thoughts and feelings are probably the most underrated (and intimate) things to tell your partner.
You don’t have to wait for him to ask about your feelings to open up. Often, we expect our boyfies to be mind readers, when we just need to be more verbal.
Remember, holding grudges will only make the situation worse. So, it’s best to communicate what you feel (and why so) with your partner.
Invite him to your world, be vulnerable, and give him a chance to sort stuff out.
5 Things You Might Want to Say but You Shouldn’t
You know what? It’s not just what to say but what not to say.
Because words have the power to build and break. They can push you guys closer, but wrong words can pull you apart.
So, let’s dive into 5 things you must never tell your partner:
“Don’t Talk to Me. I Had a Terrible Day.”
Never shut your partner out. It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it rn, but communicate that clearly. Tell them you need some time to calm down and reassure them everything’s okay.
“My Ex Used To…”
No matter how cool you guys are about your exes, I always suggest leaving them out of the convos. Focus on the present (and the future)—your partner.
“It’s Not a Big Deal. Get Over It.”
Maybe it’s not that big a deal for you. But it might be for them. So, even if you can’t empathize with what they’re going through, NEVER invalidate their feelings.
“Whatever.”
Now that’s a serious buzzkill. As if your partner or his opinions don’t matter at all. Because “whatever” means disrespect and apathy.
“If You Really Loved Me, You Would…”
This might be funny in the beginning, but once you become habitual, it gets bad. You’re basically emotionally blackmailing your partner into doing things you want.
