Just because you’ve been together for like forever doesn’t mean you should settle for less.
“Sunk-cost fallacy” is a real thing in long-term relationships. You’ve poured your heart and soul into creating something beautiful with this person. But you are afraid to let it all go even if your partner is treating you like shit.
I’m not saying that you must call it quits at the first disagreement. But if he’s treating you like a doormat, it’s already a sinking ship, no matter whatever you’ve invested.
So, it’s OKAY to walk away when you hit certain dealbreakers.
Today, I’ve listed down 14 things that you should NEVER put up in a long-term relationship. If you find yourself nodding with me, it’s time to ditch the ship!
Let’s explore long-term relationship dealbreakers!
1. Liar! Liar! Pants on fire!
A lie is a lie, no matter how small or big. Yes, I do agree that some lies are healthy and harmless.
Like telling your boss you’re sick and can’t come to work when actually you’re surprising your parents on their anniversary.
But straight-up lies that make you trust your partner less? A major red flag.
- “I couldn’t call you because my phone was dead.” (the phone is fully charged)
- “I can’t wait to start a family with you.” (does not want to have kids)
- “I don’t gamble anymore.” (they are literally drowning in gambling debt)
A relationship built on lies cannot survive. Even if you forgive this person every single time hon, you’ll always have unresolved trust issues with them.
2. Cheating or Betrayal
“I’m sorry. It was just one time. It won’t happen again.”
Maybe it won’t happen again. But it did happen once. And that is enough reason for you to walk away without any guilt trips.
Also, let me say this out loud—cheating does not always mean having a full-blown physical affair.
If your partner flirts with someone else, prioritizes them over you, and makes you seem like an “orthodox uncool person”, you deserve much better.
3. Mind Games
Ever felt like your partner is manipulating you? Maybe they twist your words into emotional pretzels and play the victim card?
If yes, they are messing with your head. Such petty behavior makes you question your capabilities and lowers your self-esteem.
You find yourself always walking on eggshells around them. Doing things just to make them happy or prove your love day after day.
This is not just gaslighting, but emotional abuse. So don’t let them break you down and get out of the relationship ASAP.
4. Physical Abuse Is Never Okay.
Let’s be real, arguments happen. But physical abuse is never acceptable on any grounds. Not even a teeny shove.
You’re a human, not their punching bag. And if they regret their actions later on, always remember—you don’t owe them forgiveness.
No sorry, excuse, or effort to mend things can justify them laying a hand on you. Even a sorry with sprinkles on top cannot erase what happened.
People who truly love and respect you will never even think of doing something like that. So, the moment it happens—call the cops or someone you trust and get the hell outta there.
5. The Cinderella Trap
Less dramatic but equally traumatizing is the Cinderella trap. It refers to being reduced to a cook, maid, or piggy bank.
Basically you are their fairy godmother who does dishes, dirty laundry, and even creates magic money. (Ugh, not cute.)
If both of you take turns doing chores or contributing financially, that’s the real happy-ever-after. It’s fine if it’s 30/70 or 60/40.
But if this dynamic is purely one-sided, you gotta talk it out. You are a queen, not sweeping Cinderella.
6. Snoozefest in the Bedroom
Trouble in paradise—not a new thing. Every relationship hits a rough patch. It’s not going to be sunshine and rainbows 24/7.
But weeks or months since you cuddled or had sex? That’s a buzzkill for your long-term relationship.
The solution? Communication.
Talk to your partner, and tell them how much you miss them. Make the first move to rekindle the spark. Maybe spice things up in the bedroom or recreate old memories!
7. “My Way or the Highway”
A healthy relationship is a partnership. Not one person micromanaging the other. It’s about finding solutions that work for both of you.
Say you want to go camping this weekend but your partner has got a soccer fever. You can postpone your plan for a week since you cannot change the match date.
But if your partner refuses to budge every time, and convos become a real struggle, it’s time to re-evaluate your relationship, sweetie.
8. Sweeping Troubles Under the Rug.
Ugh, the silent treatment! Your partner clamming up like a hermit crab and shutting down.mAs if those problems will cease to exist if you stop talking about them.
No. Stonewalling and ignorance are recipes for disaster. Unresolved trust issues take no time to turn into resentment and even feelings of hatred.
If your partner stops communicating, you guys are going downhill.
9. Too Much Misplaced Anger
There’s no denying that we all tend to blow off steam on the person closest to us. I mean, we all get frustrated and lose control in the heat.
But if your partner becomes a rage monster, they are taking you for granted, hon.
Your relationship should be a safe space, not something you eventually become afraid of. Let me remind you again—YOU ARE NOT A PUNCHING BAG.
If they have anger management issues, encourage them to consult a therapist. Their response and effort will be reflective of how they perceive you.
10. Dream Squashers
You know a sneaky tactic that sabotages your happiness in a relationship? Your partner being disrespectful of your ambitions.
Think about this: you finally launched a small business but your partner acts like Debbie Downer. Dismissive of everything. A negativity nation.
Constructive criticism is one thing, but straight-up booing and raining all over your dreams is another.
You deserve someone who would push you to explore new things, face your fears, and live your life your way. Someone who fuels your fire, not extinguishes it!
11. Throwing Shade at My Fam? Bye, Felicia!
Yeah, we’ve all got some amusing characters in our families. But the last thing you want is your partner making passive-aggressive comments about them.
It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been with this person. If they can’t respect your family and friends—people you love the most—how do you expect them to respect you?
Your family is your foundation. Sure, they can be a bit extraa sometimes, but you still love them to the bone.
A partner who throws shade at your fam surely does not deserve a spot in your life anyway.
12. The Parenting Project
Constantly reminding your partner to pick up their dirty clothes, wash the dishes, basically run their whole life? Major drag.
You deserve someone who is mature and responsible. Not an adult who acts like a child. A healthy relationship thrives on teamwork, after all.
Here’s what you can do: tell them to sort things out on their own. You’re their partner, not their parent. Set boundaries and let them face the consequences of their actions.
For example, they forgot to pay the bills AGAIN? Don’t help them out. They will learn to deal with it.
And if they won’t start behaving like a grown-up, you know what to do. 😉
13. Blame Games
- “You said the gun was mine
- Isn’t cool, no, I don’t like you.”
Finger-pointing when a problem arises is only more trouble. Even if it was your fault, no one likes a constant reminder. Because it leaves no room for growth and forgiveness. (Oh, and accusations never fix the problem.)
Worse, if they blame you for something they did in the first place!
For example, you tell them that they were hurtful and suddenly it’s your fault for being “too sensitive”? I mean, WTF?
Deflection and gaslighting are two things (out of many) you need to stay away from, darling.
14. Keeping Score Like It’s a Game. UGH.
There’s nothing wrong with competing with your partner in a healthy way. But if your partner considers everything a race, now that’s a bummer.
For example, they land a new job and demean you for still being stuck at the current one. Or comparing your salaries.
Remember, your relationship is not about who is the better one. But if they turn it into a scorefest, disqualify them.
You need a supporter, not a competitor.
Bottomline
You know what?
It’s not just about what they do, but also how you react.
If you don’t consider yourself deserving, they will always win over you. No matter how violent or manipulative they were.
That’s why it’s important to set boundaries and communicate your needs.
If something is off, give them a couple of warnings. And if they continue to behave like before, simply break it off.
Related articles to things to never put up in a long-term relationship
- 21 Subtle Ways To Make A Guy Obsessed With You (Without Being Creepy)!
- This 30 Day Love Challenge Is Your Secret Sauce To Amp Up The Romance!
- 15 Simple Ways To Be Romantic & Steal Their Heart! (Yet Again!)
- What Kills Long Distance Relationships & How To Keep The Love Alive
- The 16 Biggest Red Flags In A Guy: Watch Out, Ladies!
