what kills long distance relationships

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After being in an LDR for 6 years, I think I know what kills long distance relationships!

Ahhh, long-distance relationships (LDRs) – the ultimate test of a couple’s resilience and willpower. Have you ever watched a romantic flick where the hero and heroine are oceans apart, and you’re like, “Aw, how bittersweet!”?

But let’s face it, reality isn’t always like the movies. Cue sad trombone Ever wondered why some LDRs go down faster than a sinking ship? Or which secret sauce holds all the distance-defying couples together?

But guess what? I’m here to give you the down-low on what makes LDRs tragically crash and burn. Better yet, I’ll throw in some ways to prevent your LDR from becoming a sob story. So, buckle up and get ready for the ride through LDR-land!

12 things that actually kills long distance relationships

1. Poor Communication: The Death Sentence for LDRs

Picture this: It’s late night date, and you’re all cozied up in your jammies, waiting for bae’s call. And you wait…aaaand you wait some more. Ghosted on date night? No ma’am!

Poor communication can be the ultimate destroyer of LDRs. How can you fix it? Try scheduling regular calls or video chats, and hold each other accountable. Stick to the plan, and stay in sync like your favorite ’90s boy band.

Also, remember to mix it up—send a sweet text or surprise your partner with a funny pic or meme now and then. Keepin’ it fresh is key!

2. Communication: Too much? Too little?

The age-old advice for any relationship: communication is key. But, in LDRs, it can be a double-edged sword. Too much communication can leave you suffocated and craving alone time, while too little can breed doubts and insecurities.

Ever heard of that LDR couple who texts non-stop? Yeah, they fizzled out super quick.

Solution: Strike a balance! Set expectations about the frequency of calls, messages, and video chats. Keep the convo natural and fun, but don’t be glued to your phone 24/7.

3. Jealousy: Green-Eyed Monster Tactics

Admit it—we’ve all been there. Your beau mentions they’re hanging out with a new friend, and suddenly your mind races with potential threats to your relationship. Chill out!

Jealousy isn’t cute, and it’s a fast track to pushing your partner away. Trust is a must, my friends. To combat jealousy, be open about your feelings and communicate with your S.O. Give a heads up if something bugs you, and listen to their side. It’s a two-way street, after all!

4. FOMO: Fear of Missing Out on Bae Life

Imagine scrolling through your Instagram feed, seeing all those lovey-dovey couples posting cutesy pics, and that nagging feeling of FOMO creeps up. Don’t let it weigh you down!

Missing out on everyday life together can be rough, but try to focus on the positives. Use social media to your advantage—snap some pics of your daily adventures and share them with your partner.

It’ll make you feel more connected, even when you’re miles apart. Plus, you’ll have a whole archive of memories to reminisce on later!

5. Neglecting #CoupleGoals

Long distance can be draining, but don’t forget your why. You’re in this together for a reason, right? Set and achieve goals together, whether it’s planning your next visit, making a bucket list of places to explore, or even working towards closing the distance permanently.

Hustling together as a team can make your bond even stronger and give you something to look forward to!

6. Trust, Suspicion and Scary Thoughts

We’ve all heard the cries of “he/she’s probably cheating on me, right?” It’s easy to jump to the worst conclusions when you’re miles apart, but that’s doing more harm than good.

Trust is numero uno when it comes to LDRs, but in reality, it’s often harder to build trust when you’re far away from each other. Suspicion can easily creep into your thoughts when your partner is MIA, and here’s how to keep your sanity.

So, try to openly communicate about your feelings – share your fears and insecurities. Trust grows with understanding and reassurance. Also, remember to give each other some breathing space without feeling guilty.

  • Establish ground rules that work for both of you. For instance, have a regular schedule for talking about your day or weekend plans.
  • Avoid causing unnecessary jealousy. Never go MIA without explanation, and give your partner the lowdown if you’re hanging out with someone new.
  • Trust your partner and have faith in your love. If your sweetheart says they’re loyal to you, believe them and focus on making your relationship stronger.

7. No Physical Intimacy or Begone, Cuddles!

We humans, we crave touch and closeness like we crave pizza on a Friday night. Physical intimacy is a vital part of romantic relationships. It helps create a bond with your partner, releases the feel-good hormones, and keeps stress at bay. (Extra cheese, please!)

But when you’re miles apart from your significant other, maintaining that level of intimacy is harder than learning to cook a perfect soufflé. (Been there, done that! 🤦‍♀️) And no, “liking” each other’s Instagram posts isn’t quality time!

So, what can you do to spice things up in long-distance relationship?

  1. Virtual Touch: Make use of technology. Send each other voice messages, video calls, and stay connected. It’s not the same as a warm hug, but it’s pretty close. Plus, you can even have those virtual date nights just like Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan in You’ve Got Mail. Watch a movie “together” using Netflix Party, or cook a meal together over a video call.
  2. Care Packages: Who doesn’t appreciate surprise gifts, am I right? Sending your partner a care package with some of their favorite things helps show love and brightens up their day. Maybe even sneak in a piece of your clothing that smells like you. Trust me, the thoughtfulness and effort will melt even the iciest of long-distance heartaches.
  3. Plan Ahead: Look forward to the next time you’ll be together in person! Schedule visits or holidays, so you have something to count down to. Knowing you’ll soon share some quality time and get all that pent-up hugging in can alleviate that physical intimacy void, even if just a bit.
  4. Get Creative: Write love letters (yes, with a real pen! ), send flirty texts, or invest in some long-distance touch gadgets, like Lovebox or Bond Touch bracelets. These can help make you feel more connected and might even bring back that old-fashioned romantic charm.

8. Loneliness: The Grim Reaper of LDRs

Spending a considerable amount of time apart can take a toll on even the most robust relationships. Loneliness is a major bummer in LDRs, but you don’t have to wave the white flag just yet.

I have a friend – Linda, from work, who moved across the country, and even though her favorite show is still Grey’s Anatomy, the loneliness of an empty apartment became her kryptonite.

So what to do in that case? Keep yourself occupied with hobbies and interests. It’s essential to maintain your social life, even without your partner.

Build a strong support system with friends and family to avoid isolation. Go to the gym, do something interesting like a language, pottery, or even cooking class.

9. Planning: How will this fairytale end?

All the head-over-heels emotions aside, have you two planned when you’d close the physical distance, or is it just going to be happily ever after, living in perpetual proximity? The key to surviving LDRs is having an end goal in sight.

You don’t want to be that couple who lived apart for so long, sacrificed everything, and ended up breaking up only because there’s no way either one of you can move for another person.

So, before it’s too late to suffer an enviable heartbreak, set realistic and tangible goals – where you’ll live when to move, what you’ll do, and the whole nine yards. Planning the future together strengthens your commitment and gives you something to look forward to.

10. Expectations: Life is no Rom-com

Finally, let’s talk about expectations. Unrealistic expectations from LDRs are the ultimate dream-killers. The truth is, LDRs have their challenges and aren’t always like your favorite romantic movie.

It’s not going to be easy, and there will be days when you’ll question everything, but that doesn’t mean it’s doomed. Remember that love takes work, even in long-distance relationships.

So try and be realistic – don’t expect constant romance and drama. Chances are less that he/she’ll fly all the way over every week or even month to see you. You may not always get doordash deliveries.

But make peace that it’s the small, everyday gestures that count.

  • Talk about your expectations from each other and the relationship early on to avoid disappointments.
  • Be honest about your needs. If you’re disappointed your SO didn’t send a good night text, tell them instead of sulking in silence.
  • Keep your expectations realistic. Your partner might be busy or dealing with challenges. Cut them some slack!

11. Emotional unavailability: Walls up, hearts down!

LDRs can make emotions tricky terrain. It’s tempting to slip into emotional fortress mode – but it’s not helpful for keeping the connection alive.

Solution: Express your feelings and emotions openly and consistently. Create a safe space for vulnerability. Remember, it’s okay to lean on one another. You’re both in this together, after all.

12. Ain’t No Party Like a Pity Party

Let’s get real for a sec—long distance is tough. There will be hiccups, but don’t let them drag you down into a pit of despair. Keep your spirits high and focus on the bigger picture: your love for each other!

Find friends or online communities who understand the struggles of LDRs and can offer support and advice. And when all else fails, a good ol’ fashioned dance party can do wonders for your mood!

Wrapping up – what kills long distance relationships

Congrats, you’ve made it to the end of our long-distance relationship truth bomb! Now it all boils down to this: What really kills LDRs isn’t the miles, the time zones, or even the expensive plane tickets. It’s the lack of communication, trust, and compromise. 💔

So, if you’re thinking about going the LDR route or if you’re in one right now, don’t be disheartened. Instead, focus on building a strong foundation, making sacrifices for each other, and drumroll embracing the power of technology.

Oh, and don’t forget to share your own LDR survival tips and stories in the comments section below. We’re all in this together.

And while you’re at it, make sure to hit that share button to save a fellow distance-challenged couple from drowning in this wild ocean called love. Now go forth and conquer those miles, love warriors!

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