Life’s too short to be stuck in a love triangle, darling!
Friends, lend me your ears (or should I say, eyes) because we’re about to dive deep into the mysterious world of relationships—yes, that scary, wild mess that’s as unpredictable as your Instagram algorithm.
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where that guy you’ve been low-key crushing on suddenly starts showing an interest in you, but newsflash: he already has a girlfriend!?
Suddenly, your mind is flooded with questions:
- Why does he want me if he’s committed to someone else?
- Is he cheating on both of us?
- Who does he love more?
- Can this “relationship” have a future?
- Am I wrong for being involved with a guy who’s already in a relationship?
The confusion is real! So, let’s go Sherlock Holmes on this and try to make sense of it.
Why Does a Guy Want You if He Has a Girlfriend?
1. The Attention Seeker
Some people are just drawn to attention like moths to a flame—am I right, or am I right? This guy might be that type.
He’s got his girlfriend for lovey-dovey stuff, but gosh darn it, he wants more—your attention, your compliments, and maybe even your jealousy. It’s never enough!
The thing is, you shouldn’t be someone’s backup plan or constant confidence booster—that’s a one-way ticket to Heartbreak-ville. Ain’t nobody got time for that!
2. Testing The Waters
In the game of love, there’s always someone hoping for an upgrade or an evolved version of what they already have (yep, they’re treating love like an iPhone!).
He could be approaching you because he feels like his current relationship is stalling and wants to see if there’s something better out there.
While it’s tempting to enjoy that extra affection, remember girl—that’s a 🚩red flag🚩waiting to happen. What’s stopping him from doing the same thing once you become his girlfriend?
3. He’s Just Flirty By Nature
Let’s be honest; some people have the flirt gene. These charming creatures can’t help but turn on the charm wherever they go, and it’s not always a bad thing.
It doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to cheat on his girlfriend, but it also doesn’t mean he’s seeking a serious connection with you either. Keep things light-hearted and be honest with yourself; if you think you could potentially catch feelings, put a halt to that flirtation.
4. Attraction ain’t loyal
Okay, now you have to remember that attraction isn’t always exclusive. People can be attracted to others regardless of their relationship status. Yup, it’s a thing!
Just because he has a girlfriend doesn’t mean he stops finding other people interesting or attractive. But hey, it doesn’t mean that he’s going to act on it immediately — or even act on it at all! We’re all human, aren’t we?
5. Unhappy Current Relationship
Sometimes, people end up in relationships that just aren’t fulfilling for a variety of reasons. Maybe he’s bored, and he’s feeling neglected or misunderstood.
Instead of finding a healthier way to address these issues, he’s seeking the excitement and attention that a brand new connection might bring. And honey, that’s where you step in.
He may see you as the spark that’s missing in his current relationship, but always remember: you’re worth so much more than just being someone’s temporary escape!
6. Craving a little excitement
We’ve all been there – the initial rush in a relationship eventually settles down, and things can start to feel a bit monotonous. But when a new charming individual (like yourself) enters the scene, it can suddenly ignite a spark and create excitement for the taken person.
This doesn’t necessarily mean they want to leave their partner, but let’s face it: everyone loves a little bit of attention from someone who catches their eye. So the reason he could be giving you those vibes is that he finds the excitement in your connection irresistibly intriguing!
7. Grass is always greener on the other side
Sometimes, people in relationships start thinking about how life would be if they were with someone else. You know, that whole “grass is greener on the other side” thing?
It’s not necessarily that they’re unhappy with their current partner, but more that they’re curious about the possibilities. And since you’re a pretty cool person (I mean, obviously), it’s only natural that he would wonder how it would be to date someone like you!
8. Friend-Zone vs. Lust-Zone
Sometimes (okay, a lot of the time!), we confuse companionship with courtship. You two might genuinely share a fun, easy-going connection that makes it tempting to push the boundaries of friendship.
And to be fair to the guy, perhaps he’s just navigating that unclear territory of liking you as a friend and developing a slight attraction. Set those limits, and don’t let yourself be the “side-chick.” You deserve so much better!
9. Seeking validation
Let’s be real – we all crave validation from time to time. If a guy is feeling insecure, he might seek attention from other women to give him a little ego boost.
Yes, it’s a bit of a bummer, but it happens! It doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about his girlfriend, he might just be craving some extra attention.
10. He wants to feel wanted
This reason ties in with the earlier point, as feelings of attraction often stem from our need to be desired. If he feels like his current relationship might be lacking that “I still got it” feeling, it’s possible that he’s reaching out for some extracurricular appreciation.
You, being a fabulous catch, are obviously providing the missing pieces without even realizing it! Remember, you deserve someone who’s completely vested in you – not just in it for a confidence boost.
11. Or maybe he wants an escape from a relationship that makes him feel insecure
Oh, insecurities, they can cause quite a mess in relationships! If a guy constantly feels insecure, chances are he’ll look for security by seeking out another girl.
Maybe he thinks his current girlfriend is way hotter than him and out of his league. Or perhaps she comes from a fancier financial background, making him fear she’ll leave him due to his not-so-perfect finances. So to play it safe, he wants to date you!
12. Could it be… boredom?
Yes, you read that right! Sometimes, people look for new connections because they’re simply bored with their current situation. This could be a reason why he finds himself drawn to you, despite having a girlfriend.
You’re an interesting and engaging person, and he’s craving some mental stimulation! But take a step back and see if this is really the role you want to play in his life. You’re nobody’s boredom-buster!
13. Maintaining the Casanova Reputation
Some guys simply thrive off of having a “player” persona. They enjoy the thrill of the chase and the irresistible allure of forbidden love. Typically, these guys are all about stroking their egos, and it has less to do with you and more to do with maintaining a certain image.
While it may seem flattering that he’s interested in you, it’s important to remember that you deserve to be someone’s one and only choice, not just another notch on their belt.
14. The Thrill of the Chase
Some peeps just love the chase! For them, the excitement of pursuing something new and off-limits is an adrenaline rush like no other. So, why does he want you even though he has a girlfriend?
Well, he could be one of those people who crave that exhilarating thrill. Just know that it’s not a reflection of your worth, and you shouldn’t settle for being treated like a game or a toy.
15. Fear of Commitment
Does the phrase “I’m not ready for a relationship right now” sound familiar? He could be flirting with you while having a girlfriend (yikes!) because he’s just terrified of being committed. It’s like having his cake and eating it, too.
But don’t let this get you down, girl! Trust your instincts and don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve.
16. Actually Enjoys Being with You
Okay, let’s give the dude some benefit of the doubt. It’s possible that he actually genuinely enjoys spending time with you, and it’s not all about ulterior motives. You two might have a real connection, and he could be feeling that he’s found in you something that he’s not getting in his current relationship.
Now, this doesn’t mean he’s bound to break up with his girlfriend and sweep you off your feet. It’s important to set personal boundaries and remember your worth amidst the emotional whirlwind.
17. Wants to Make His Girlfriend Jealous
Lastly, it could be that he’s trying to make his current girlfriend jealous by flirting with you. In this case, it’s not really about you at all – it’s about creating tension and drama in his current relationship.
Perhaps he’s trying to prove a point, or he wants to manipulate her into valuing him more. Regardless, it’s not a situation you want to be part of. Always remember to prioritize your self-respect and keep your distance from such unhealthy dynamics.
What’s A Girl To Do?
Alright, so we figured out why he might be showing interest, but now what? 💁♀️ If you find yourself in this confusing counter-romantic position, here’s what you gotta do:
1. Establish Boundaries
First up, be honest with yourself about your feelings. If you’re not comfortable with the situation, it’s essential to set boundaries and let him know where you stand. Remember, you deserve to be the main course, not the side dish!
2. Reflect On Your Own Feelings
It’s vital to turn inwards and ask yourself some essential questions. Do you want to be with a person who is not giving his best to his current relationship? What will the status of your potential future relationship be? Remember that you’re a person of high self-value, deserving of someone who is fully committed, without distractions.
3. Analyze The Motives
Take a hard look at what is making him pursue you despite his current romantic partnership. Once you can discern the reasons, it becomes easier to weigh the pros and cons and make an educated decision about engaging with him or not.
4. Decide rightly now
If you’re convinced he’s the one for you, and he’s clearly unhappy in his current relationship, then give him some space and time to figure it out. Absolutely do not push him to break up with his girlfriend or pressure him to be with you. Let him come to his own decision, and if it’s meant to be, it’ll happen.
Whatever the reason is, being a second woman in a guy’s life is something unacceptable. So, the next thing that you need to know is why has he still not left his GF for you.
Remember, if it happened to his girlfriend, it could happen with his girlfriend. So make sure to invest your time and energy into someone who isn’t already spoken for.
4 reasons why he might not be leaving his girlfriend just yet!
1. His current GF offers him something irresistible!
Even if he’s head over heels for there’s just something about his GF that he can’t let go. It could be her enchanting personality, her wallet size, or even the way she boosts his social standing! Whatever the reason, he’s keeping her around for some selfish gains.
2. He’s too scared to defy his family’s wishes!
Perhaps his current GF is beloved by his family or their families have known each other forever! In these situations, breaking up can be a daunting challenge. To avoid rocking the boat, your man prefers keeping your love a secret.
3. He isn’t ready to tackle the religious differences!
If you two come from different religious communities, he might be hesitant about a future together. Instead of boldly embracing your beliefs, he’d rather play it safe with his current GF.
4. He simply can’t handle breaking her heart!
Some guys just can’t bear to make a decision. They dip their toes into multiple relationships, only to realize they’re stuck in a love triangle. So, they end up keeping you hanging and hurting everyone involved.
Wrapping Up – If He Has A Girlfriend, Why Does He Want Me?
I know what you are going through right now. But trust me, you deserve better. You deserve a guy who madly, deeply, truly loves you with all his heart.
I hope this article brings you some clarity of thought as well as heals your heart a bit. Sending more power and love your way! xoxo
