Take control of your love life and stop being a toy – find out if he’s in it for the right reasons or just using you for your body.
No doubt, physical intimacy contributes to a healthy relationship. But when it’s the sole factor keeping your partner hooked, it’s time to wake up and take the blindfold off.
After all, the faster you get out of such a selfish relationship, the better.
But to be sure and make the right decision, you need concrete evidence. Having an open mind and trusting your gut play a crucial role in finding out the truth.
So, if you’re wondering how to know if a guy is using you for your body, go through the list below and confirm the signs.
Rack your brain, try to remember little details, and see if your partner behaves very much like the villain of this blog. I’ve also jotted down what you need to do next once you’re confident about the situation.
how to know if a guy is using you for your body
1. Most Of His Compliments Are About Your Looks
The first and foremost indicator is the type of compliments your partner pays you. If he is just physically attracted to you, he’ll hover around praises based on your looks and nothing more than that.
You’ll never receive a “you’re so kind,” “you make me proud,” or “you’ve done the right thing” from him. He’ll keep rambling about your physical features, curves, hair, and maybe even private parts.
Plus, it’s also about the way he appreciates your beauty. For the first few times, you may feel pleased. But soon, it will start to get weird, and you might even be cringed out at some points.
2. He Doesn’t Seem To Be Interested In You
You can easily differentiate between a person who genuinely cares about you and one who doesn’t. And if you can’t, here’s how to tell if someone is genuine.
If you find yourself always “waiting” for him or taking the lead, something’s seriously wrong. There should be mutual participation for any relationship to work out successfully.
So, if you’re the only one initiating conversations and questions to know each other better, he doesn’t care a damn.
A person interested in you would be happy to be in your company and spend time understanding your likes and dislikes. He’ll ask you about your future plans, what triggers or troubles you, etc.
3. He’s Weirdly Touchy
The best way to find out if your partner is no less than a pervert is to see how he behaves around you.
Does he try to be physically close at every given a chance? Has he ever groped you in public or even when both of you are alone?
If yes, you know where I’m headed. Not every single second has to be about getting sexual. And if your partner cannot understand this even after explaining it to him, call it quits, girl.
You shouldn’t be in a relationship with someone who cannot respect your privacy.
4. He Avoids Public Places When With You
Another alarming sign that says he’s using you for your body is your partner shying away or avoiding being in the same frame with you publicly.
He doesn’t want to be seen or acknowledged as your boyfriend because he’s not emotionally invested in you. Plus, he won’t be able to get intimate in such places.
As a result, your boyfriend will keep canceling or postponing plans to meet you outside. He’ll never ask you out and always go for at-home dinners (if he’s in the mood for that in the first place). Chances are you’ve rarely or never been invited to his place, too. If yes, this is a clear sign he is using you for your body.
Embarrassingly, my ex used to do this, and there’s nothing that ticks me off more than not being proud of me. Well, guess what? It was all his loss and my profit in the long haul!
5. He Reaches Out To You Only For His Needs
There’s nothing worse than the feeling of being exploited. To have people sticking with you just for the sake of some benefits that you have to offer.
And if this is the reason why your boyfriend is interested in seeing you, I’m sure you’ve already sensed that.
He will only contact you when he’s in dire need of some sexual activity. Nothing comes before his priority of pleasing himself. So, even if you’re in some trouble and need him, he will be unavailable.
But shamefully, he’ll come back, make excuses why he was not reachable, and then try to be physical with you. Be aware of such men.
6. He Doesn’t Care About The Post-Sex Intimacy
Being intimate is not just about having sexual intercourse but what follows the act. Post-sex time is all about connecting on a deeper level and showing the other person you care for them.
If your boyfriend doesn’t like spending the night with you, things are more surficial for him. He’s not concerned about staying together and trying to know each other better.
He pretty much treats you like an object to please him and doesn’t see you as a person who means something in his life.
7. He Doesn’t Care About Your Personal Space & Individuality
No matter how close two people are, having personal space is crucial. You don’t want a person touching you 24/7.
A person interested in you for only sexual reasons is likely to burst this bubble and intrude whenever possible. He won’t acknowledge your individuality and will rather dismiss your opinions.
Gradually, you might even find yourself agreeing to whatever he says and start feeling like a slave. The other person won’t care about whether you dislike something and will pressure you to do certain things.
8. You Know Nothing About His Friends/Family
Does your boyfriend seem like a stranger to you? As if you know nothing about him?
You’ve never seen him talk about his parents or even siblings. He does not mention his friend circle, and you’ve no idea about his colleagues, either.
Moreover, whenever you try to ask him about the people in his life, he dodges the conversation. He won’t ever willingly introduce you to his family because he sees no shared future. He even avoids meeting your family and friends whenever possible.
9. Your Relationship Is Mainly A Physical One
As I’ve mentioned before, there’s so much in a relationship than the sexual aspect. Couples go on dates, try out each other’s interests and explore themselves in the journey.
But if your partner is still stuck in your bedroom, things are different from what you want. He’ll try to cancel the plans that you set for both and keep you confined at your place to spend a “cozy” (read sexual) time.
Even if he agrees to travel and visit another city/town, he’ll pretty much prefer staying in the hotel room with you.
With a guy using you for your body, every single date, picnic, car ride, or any small or big outing will end in a make-out sess. There’s just no other option of talking, cuddling, or subtle make-outs. It’s either in or outta the car!
10. There’s No Deep Connection
Intimacy is not limited to sex. There’s emotional intimacy and understanding as well. How comfortable you are with your partner and the level of sync you two have.
Of course, that doesn’t mean both of you must have similar interests. But even if you are polar opposites, you respect and understand each other well. That’s the foundation of any strong relationship.
However, your partner lacks this sensitivity and is basically immune to establishing any kind of connection with you besides the physical one. He doesn’t take an interest in talking about life or something as simple as how his day went.
Forget about expressing his opinions. He won’t ever listen to yours in the first place. He’ll either be inattentive or change the subject to, well, you know what.
11. He’s Heavily Interested In Sexting & Nudes
Sexting is all fun when you are unable to spend time with each other, especially in the case of long-distance relationships.
But even then, a couple doesn’t keep sending nudes 24/7 or flirt in every single message. There’s so much else to talk about!
So, if he insists on sticking to sexting and avoids your other messages, trust your gut. He might even misuse your texts and photos. Better to be on your toes.
12. He Doesn’t Care About Your Sexual Pleasures
Another indicator that your partner is selfishly using you for his physical satisfaction is how he treats you in bed.
Someone who genuinely loves and cares about you will know what ticks you off. He won’t solely focus on his needs but also give his best to please you.
On the contrary, a person who only wants you in bed won’t be considerate. You might even feel coerced to act in a particular way, be dominated, or do certain things which you’re not at all comfortable with.
13. He’s A Smooth Talker
This sign is the reason why you fell for him in the first place. Someone who wants to take advantage of you will be greatly charming in the beginning. He’ll pretend to take an interest in your life and care about you.
He might even convince you to sleep with him without raising any suspicions. However, this magic will gradually start to wear out if he is using you for your body. He’ll stop responding to your texts, avoid seeing your friends and even crumble your confidence bit by bit.
At one point, you will start doubting and blaming yourself. He’ll keep playing the victim card, gain your sympathy and exploit you. And when that happens, it is your cue to know he just wants sex from you.
14. He’s Flirtatious
When I say flirtatious, I mean with other women. Of course, he’ll lead you on, no doubt. But he’ll also keep an eye on other women ALWAYS.
Maybe he’ll comment on the way they are dressed and what he likes about it. Or he’ll steal quick glances at them. He may talk about his past girlfriends or hint at including more people in bed with you (threesome) just to “increase the intimacy between you guys.”
And when you catch him checking out other women, he’ll come up with some lame excuse or blatantly deny it. Worse, he may even accuse you of being over-possessive and suspicious.
15. He’s Not Invested In You
The first sign of being invested in any relationship is acknowledgment.
A person who’s looking forward to starting a new chapter with you will give importance to your relationship and talk about it. If both of you are hitting a low point, he’ll try to find a way out and reignite the spark.
The fact that your partner doesn’t care a whit shows his lack of interest. He won’t talk about commitment or prioritize you over himself. He’s not looking to make things totally work out with you, but just enough to get him what he needs.
For example, let’s say you’re upset due to some reason. Rather than discussing and solving the problem, he will suggest boosting your mood through sex.
What if he is using you for your body?
Go through the list above once again. If you’re sure your boyfriend is using you for your body or even financial reasons, here’s what you must do:
1. Get A Hold Of The Situation
It’s okay to take some time to absorb what’s happening. Sort out your thoughts and be clear. You don’t wanna be swayed away by his excuses or reasons. So, it’s important to realize what you want and be firm on it.
Once you’re ready, have a face-to-face talk with your partner and explain the situation to him.
2. Be Straightforward
Avoid beating around the bush and come straight to the point. You don’t want to sound desperate, unconvincing, or weak.
This is only possible when you realize you don’t need someone else to live your life. So, whether this person comes to his senses or not, know that you’re going to make a decision that’s good for you.
Once you grasp this concept, you’ll be able to talk more confidently to your partner. Tell him what you’re looking for. You want to know him better and label your relationship. You want him to care about you, and if he can’t do that genuinely, you’re better off without him.
Make it clear that you are not dependent on him and deserve exclusivity.
3. Set Boundaries
All’s good if he’s been shying away till now and starts realizing his mistake. But if nothing changes, be prepared to distance yourself from him.
Ignore his late-night texts. You don’t have to pick up every single call from him. Don’t try to be available 24/7. You have your career and other things to focus on, too. Convey the same to him.
If he respects that, fantastic! If not, be strong and end things with him. But don’t shy away from setting high-value woman boundaries.
Bottom Line to how to know if a guy is using you for your body
I’m not saying that we’re never wrong. But in situations like these, our gut feeling is 99.9% correct.
Maybe he’ll actually learn to be more social and open up to you. He might be facing some real problem that was preventing him from expressing himself.
Happens. If you see him changing for good and making an effort to bridge the distance between you both, give him another chance.
However, if there’s no success or he comes back to how he was, leave him, sis. He’s a gone case. You deserve much better.
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