Are your financial instincts tingling? Is it love or financial manipulation? Let’s find out!
In a relationship, exploitations can take place not just in the form of physical and emotional abuse but financial manipulation as well.
Yes, dear! You read that right!
Contrary to popular opinion, men, too, can be gold diggers! As per Forbes, 2 out of 10 adults get married for money, and out of these, around 54% of the adults are men!
And since you are here, I assume that somewhere deep down, you know that you are blessed with a gold-digger boyfriend.
“Is my boyfriend using me for money?”- I am sure you must have asked yourself this question hundreds of times. It seems impossible to get rid of this uncanny feeling.
No matter how much you love your partner, the truth is that you are the one who pays all the bills. And this seems unfair, especially when he has a decent job.
If you are still looking for signs that your boyfriend is using you financially, spare 5 minutes to go through this article. This is all you need to identify the real face of your gold-digger boyfriend!
Without much ado, let’s unmask your guy!
21 Signs Your Boyfriend is Using You Financially!
1. “I will pay you back”- that’s all he says!
He always says that he’ll pay. But you never see him doing this for real.
He literally seems to be reliant on your bank account for a living. You will soon start feeling that this is NOT a relationship of equals.
A relationship where your guy gaslights you to spend money on his behalf is definitely not a healthy relationship. Initially, his false promises will comfort you. But sooner or later, you WILL realize that he is never gonna pay you back.
2. He is a big-time liar.
He will be really good at deceiving people. You will see him telling lies to other people at the drop of a hat. He can easily lie about his ill health, busy schedule, and bankruptcy.
You will notice that this guy can go to any extent to make himself sound believable.
Since he does not bat an eyelid before lying to anyone, it is childish to expect him to be honest with you. Know that he is deceiving you as well, especially because he is using you for money.
3. He gets extra caring for you before asking for more money.
Does your partner showers you with love just before he asks for financial assistance from you? If yes, babe, take this as one of the biggest warning signs of financial exploitation.
He will woo you with his charm. All of a sudden, he will get romantic. He may even go to the extent of making you breakfast or dinner.
And the moment you hand him more money, he will gradually go back to his real self.
4. Time and again, he compares your love to the money you give him.
He will financially manipulate you and force you into a situation where you start paying for all his expenses. He will blackmail you into proving your love by paying all the bills for him.
If you refuse, he may even tell you that he is suspicious about your loyalty.
5. He is always in financial difficulties.
You will be surprised to see that this guy does not lead a financially secure life. You will always find him financial crunch.
He will always tell you stories about some stepfather or deceitful work partner who had run away with all his money. Or he will cook up stories about his injured friend who needs financial assistance.
You will find him in messy situations all the time. He will always end up with one or the other financial problems.
And for every problem, he will come back running to you as if you are his personal bank.
6. Your partner gets upset or aggressive when you say “No.”
He can never take a “No” from you when it comes to money matters. The moment you share about financial emergencies on your part, he will either get angry or sad.
His unreasonable behavior will cost you your peace of mind. It will be really difficult for you to plan a long-term relationship with this person as money is all he wants from you.
7. He loves spending money to improve his appearance.
Does your partner love to splurge on his clothes and shoes? Is he always concerned about his appearance?
Does he always try to look his best by spending money on branded products? And is he doing all this by borrowing your money?
Then babe, take this as a warning sign for his financially abusive behavior.
8. All your guy notices is money the first time he meets anyone.
“Look at that guy! He is a multi-millionaire.”
“She definitely has a sugar-momma vibe!”
“Damn! This guy is so lucky to have such a premium car.”
If these are the words of your boyfriend every time he meets someone new, then take this as a red flag. Being obsessed with money and considering it as the only noticeable attribute in any person is absolutely unacceptable.
Babe, you just need to know that you are trapped in an unhappy relationship with your gold-digging boyfriend.
9. He gives zero fu*k about your well-being.
Does your boyfriend love you? Like, do you feel the love?
Darling, can you straightaway give me a “Yes,” or do you need time to think it out?
If you are taking time to answer, this is a sure sign that your man is not available for you. He is just taking advantage of your love for him.
Since you are financially stable, he is with you to make the most out of your bank account. He borrows money from you all the time and stays emotionally unavailable to you. He does not give a damn about your physical and mental health.
And most importantly, he is not in love with you.
I know this may sound shattering to you, but babe, you need to know the truth. The sooner, the better!
10. He has uncountable business ideas in Pandora’s box!
He will always come to you with his out-of-the-world business ideas that he is planning to start with his best friend. Initially, you will think of him as a guy with an entrepreneurial mindset. But later on, you will feel cheated.
On the pretext of not having adequate funds to fulfill his dream venture, he will always borrow money from you. Now and again, he will tell you about some financial emergency at his workplace. And it will make you feel guilty if you do not help him with this money situation.
11. He is never ready to part with his own money.
Has he ever helped you in times of financial crisis? Does he ever contribute to the monthly expenses? Does he ever shops for himself with his own money?
This is a HUGE warning sign that your man is not ready to spend even a penny on you or himself and that he prefers behaving like a leech.
He will straightaway refuse to spend his money even if he has a decent job.
12. Initially, he used to pay all the bills.
Oh, wait! Did he use to pay all the bills during your initial courtship days?
And once you said “Yes”, he changed overnight, right?
Here’s what happened!
He was just showing off his chivalrous side to impress you. And once you fell in love with him, he decided to turn into this “forever broke” kinda guy.
13. He keeps lying about his job.
Does he have a financially stable job that can support you two? If yes, what exactly is his role at his workplace?
Does he even have a job? How does he make money? Does he make money at all?
Darling, if you are not sure about any of these answers, you are in a problem! You have all the signs on this earth to believe that this guy is using you for money.
14. He never brings you any gifts.
So, in all this time, he has not got you any gift. Not even something as simple (and feasible) as a card! Not even a rose!
And you think he loves you! Are you crazy or what?
See, I am not saying that bringing gifts is the only proof of love. No, it is not! Stop judging me, duh!
What I want to say is that if your guy loves you, he will at least put effort into making you happy. Those little gestures like bringing you ice cream, ordering food for you when you are not well, and slipping in a red rose to your smile, mean a lot when you two are in love.
But if your boyfriend calls dine-outs and surprise dates unnecessary shenanigans, babe, you must give your relationship a second thought.
15. He wants access to all your bank passwords and cards.
One of the biggest warning signs of a man who is using you for money is that he will coerce you to share all your bank details and passwords with him.
He will emotionally blackmail you if you refuse to do so. He will compel you to share your credentials so that he can access your money anytime he wants to.
16. Your loved ones have sensed something fishy.
Your family and friends are wary about your future. They consider your partner as a gold digger.
And they are deeply concerned about your financial security and personal life.
You must have got hundreds of relationship advice from your mother or best friend. They must have warned you against your partner’s greedy behavior.
But every time, you get carried away by his sad stories.
17. He never plans for your future together.
Your partner never ever talks about a future where he sees both of you together. In fact, he has no future plans at all!
He is always around you, seeking financial help. In fact, he can go to great lengths to put your future plans on hold. Either he will give some fake financial reasons or share an emotional story to stop you from planning your future together.
His reluctance to commit to a long-term relationship is the biggest telltale sign that he is a true gold digger and that he is here just for money.
18. He wants to move in with you.
Is he insisting way too much to move in with you? Does he hang out at your place 24/7?
These are unmistakable signs that your guy is completely using you financially.
No! Just wanting to stay with you is a crime. But being around you 24/7 and treating you like an ATM machine is cruel.
If he is using you for money, he will want to be with you all the time so that you can finance all his needs.
19. He keeps a tab on how you spend your own money.
You are completely clueless as to where he spends all the money that he borrows from you. On the other hand, he keeps a record of how you spend your money.
He literally keeps pestering you to share every minute detail of your expenses. In fact, he gets angry with you when you splurge on something for yourself.
This is a clear sign that he wants all your money and does not want you to spend even a single penny.
20. He has no interest in gelling up with your family and friends.
You are the one who is making all the efforts to get along with his family and friends. However, he shows zero interest in your circle.
All he wants is your money. So, he makes zero effort to mingle with your close people.
Also, he is aware that his friends and family are not quite so fond of him because of his money-minded behavior.
21. He does NOTHING to improve his financial situation.
He just keeps sharing about his hypothetical business ventures. But he never tries to do real stuff.
He will always keep borrowing money from you under the pretext of investing in his business.
Neither will he look for a job nor will he make any effort to bring money.
3 Things to Do if Your Boyfriend is Using You for Money!
1. Communicate clearly.
Now that you know that your boyfriend lives on borrowed money and stays with you just for the sake of financial support, it is important for you to communicate it clearly.
You should not delay this discussion, no matter how bad it feels. The more you stay silent, the more he will exploit you financially.
Sit with him. Talk it out. Say that you want him to contribute equally to the expenses.
However, if he refuses, then you need to think about your relationship once again.
2. Give him a deadline.
In case he agrees to earn and contribute equally, give him a deadline. You do not have to keep waiting for your partner forever.
Otherwise, he will keep using you for money while giving you false hopes.
Give him a realistic deadline and ask him to adhere to it strictly.
3. Call it a quit!
If he still continues to behave like a gold digger, then babe, it is high time you end your relationship. You cannot and should not stay in a relationship where your partner keeps manipulating you financially.
Parting Thoughts on is my boyfriend using me financially?
Babe, I know that you are afraid to be alone in this cold world.
But the last thing you need is a gold-digger boyfriend who keeps pestering you for money. If he is taking advantage of you for financial matters, then darling, you need to come out of this toxic relationship ASAP!
It is important that you read the clear signs in your man and be wary of the red flags. Bub, you need a perfect gentleman in your life, not some gold digger who is interested in your finances.
I know it is hard for you. But a heartbreak now will save you from mental breakdowns later in life!
Sending you love and light your way!
Will be back soon with another relationship article, super soon!
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