only if healing & finding peace after a toxic relationship was that easy…
It’s no secret that relationships can be complicated. But when it comes to toxic relationships, they can feel downright impossible. You know the ones—the relationship that sucks the life and energy out of you, leaving you feeling drained and defeated.
Life becomes hard when the person you have always loved makes you feel wretched. Sadly, we all know someone who has experienced this type of relationship or maybe even experienced it ourselves. So, how do you find peace after something so toxic?
It takes a lot of courage to get out of such a relationship where toxic behavior overpowers love and trust. It gets hard for you to let loose in the dating pool or even consider dating. People start scaring you.
Love should not be hard. In fact, it’s one of the easiest things to ever do. But when gaslighting, emotional manipulation, bad-mouthing, disrespecting, or any sort of mental or physical abuse becomes a norm, in that case, I’m afraid, love had vanished a long time ago.
So how to heal after a toxic relationship? How to love yourself again? How to dig for the strength to find love? How to start letting go of things? How to forgive them for making you go through situations you didn’t deserve?
Only if it was that easy…
Let’s explore some helpful tips for healing your heart and finding peace after a toxic relationship.
how to find peace after a toxic relationship
1. Understand that the situation is not your fault
When you love someone so dearly, without knowing, start taking the blame on yourself. Of course, it’s easier to make your heart understand that it was your fault instead of finding the answers to what went wrong and why you were the victim.
It is ok if you still love them, but it is simply not acceptable if you keep that guilt feeling alive in you even after leaving them. Because loving someone is not wrong but allowing someone to abuse you definitely is.
No human being deserves to be treated the way you were treated. Love and respect are two very important factors that form the base of any relationship.
Learn to love yourself and appreciate all your moves; only then will you be able to understand your value and never let anyone do wrong to you.
So stop feeling guilty about your moves and start believing that it is not your fault. That person was a red flag.
2. Give yourself time to mourn the loss of the relationship
I have seen so many people scared to get out of a relationship despite sensing the toxicity involved in it only because they are scared to stay alone. And that’s a genuine problem indeed. But is it really the only reason you should keep sacrificing your peace?
It is always better to live alone than to live in a house where chaos and a blame game are the only two things happening every day.
And now that you’ve taken that step. Give yourself time to mourn the loss. Cry your heart out. Question the universe. Ask, why you? Take all the time you need.
Because after this phase is over, its only bright, beautiful mornings with positive vibes, better health, a lot of peace, more time for YOU, and inner satisfaction. Ahhhh! That does sound like real peace, doesn’t it?
3. realize that everything happens for a reason
You may not be able to fully realize how peaceful your life could be now that you out of all the toxicity. You know how they say, when you love someone, you stay with them just for that one reason even though there are 99 things wrong with them.
I cannot begin to express how difficult it is to process everything and concede that it is not the same. I agree that it is hard for you to come out of love and affection.
But the time you realize that whatever happened, happened for a reason, and from now onwards, it is ONLY peace of health, mind, and heart, will be the day that you actually will leave everything behind and start feeling free.
4. Lean on your support system for emotional and physical healing
The best way to heal from a bad experience is to take time for yourself. You don’t have to be alone in order to get some “me time”—you just have to make sure that whatever you’re doing takes precedence over any thoughts or feelings related to your former partner.
Make sure you do things that make you feel good, like taking an exercise class, watching your favorite movie, going out with friends, or simply reading a book in bed.
Taking time for yourself will help you re-center and remember the things that make you happy without having any input from the other person involved in the toxic relationship. And that, my friend, is what you were not getting with your ex and is now all yours!
5. Trust that things are going to fall back in place once again
I know it might sound unreal at the moment, but things will slowly and steadily fall back in place with time. This is why it is always said, ‘Time heals everything’.
You might be in a fussy situation when you first moved away from your ex. This is all due to the sudden change you are going through without thoughts about the future in mind. But slowly, with time passing by, you will slip into the process of healing.
All those abusive days will seem like bad dreams. The key is to start focusing on yourself.
Start practicing yoga, wake up early in the morning, have a fixed schedule, and stay involved in your well-being. Go hang out with your friends. If the toxic relationship has jeopardized your other relations as well, go make things right. Make them understand your true situation and why you couldn’t do anything.
Join different activities. Meet people and start socializing. Don’t even think about dating. Just let things flow and trust that there’s a better plan for you in place.
Feel gratitude about gathering enough courage to come out of that toxicity for all the support around you. For all the blessings you have (because even when you think you have nothing, you still have 10,000 more things than others). So be grateful for that!
And there again, you will be back on your track, enjoying this beautiful life you are gifted with – healing and finding peace after a toxic relationship.
6. let go and forgive them for what they did
Forgiveness might sound impossible right now, but it’s essential if you want true inner peace after a toxic relationship ends. While it’s easy to hold onto grudges and stay angry at those who have done wrong to us, this won’t bring lasting peace into our lives in the long run.
The only way forward is learning how to forgive them (and most importantly, forgiving yourself) so that you can move on with your life in a healthier way—forgiving does not mean forgetting about what happened or dismissing what was done wrong; instead, it means allowing yourself space from all the emotions associated with the situation so that they don’t control every aspect of your life anymore.
Holding anger and a grudge against your ex won’t do any harm to him. It will instead affect your mental peace. You will always have that vengeful attitude active in your personality. This is likely to affect everyone coming within your vicinity.
Forgiving your ex with time is accepting that whatever happened in the relationship did happen and time was wrong.
You might feel that forgiveness is nothing but a sign of emotional weakness. At that point, you will tend to retract your move. But do not make this mistake because forgiving is a sign of power and strength in the true sense.
And this will help you to regain that long-lost peace in your life.
7. Be Kind To Yourself
It’s also important to remember that healing isn’t always linear—there will be highs and lows throughout the process and it’s okay if one day feels better than another day. Being kind and gentle with yourself is key during this time, as negative self-talk won’t get you anywhere but feeling worse about yourself than ever before.
Try replacing any critical thoughts with positive affirmations like “I am worthy of love” or “I am strong enough to overcome anything life throws my way”.
I have seen such a significant impact of affirmations in my life. It helps me transform all the negative vibes into positive ones real quick, and the future starts looking prosperous.
8. Start journaling for real
Some of you would be like whatttt the heck is that? Of course, you don’t know! But let me tell you, this could be your way to achieve ultimate peace after a toxic relationship.
Basically, journaling is the practice of keeping a written record of one’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences. It can be a therapeutic and reflective activity that can help individuals to better understand their emotions, process their thoughts, and gain insight into their behavior and patterns. Sounds interesting, right?
Journaling can be an effective and cathartic way to move forward after coming out of a messy situation. Whether it’s free writing and letting your emotions out, or taking some time each day to track your progress, journalling can provide clarity for a foggy mind and open up healing possibilities.
For me, it’s all about that reflective practice – how can I learn from this experience and honour my journey through it? But if it works for you, you could also write all the emotions and anger that you feel but cannot express it to your ex.
It is just a simple way to improve emotional well-being, reduce stress, and increase self-awareness – all of which can help you find real peace.
9. Feel free to be surrounded by supportive people
It is in our nature to feel awkward when people try to show us their support during our difficult times. It is a pervasive personality issue (that I also have). I try to hide my feelings, but that doesn’t do much good to me.
It is always better to open up to people trying to be with you, no matter what. Do not try to show them your fake smile and happy personality. That will drain you more than you think.
When you are going through a difficult time, surrounding yourself with positive, supportive people who love you and just want you to do better in life is only gonna uplift you.
Finding peace within the vicinity of your loved ones boosts your overall healing process. It helps in rebuilding your confidence in yourself and trust in people. At times they can even come up to you with positive feedback. Consider them if you feel they will help you to find peace after a toxic relationship.
10. Take time for yourself to do things you once enjoyed
Keeping yourself busy will reduce the time left to think a lot about a toxic relationship you left behind. And no job can be better than joining something you once loved doing. People in toxic relationships often end up neglecting their hobbies, passion, and needs. So how about starting from here?
If you love painting, join a painting class. Or if you’re a born dancer, start shaking your booty. In short, start doing those activities you are passionate about, which puts your energy into constructive use. Who knows, you might be able to make a career out of it.
There is a different kind of happiness in rediscovering and redoing things you once were passionate about. They bring a kind of joy and happiness and the peace you are trying to find.
11. Do live in the present
Constantly thinking and talking about the past or throwing hints at how the future might look for you will be of no help. Neither can we change the past, nor can we predict our future. It will happen with time and our actions.
Ranting about the past over and over is an unhealthy behavioral issue. You might want to consider checking in with a psychologist to get rid of it and stay focused on your present.
The present is in your hand, and you can only fix it. Rather than talking about what could have been but did not happen for whatever reason, it is better to think of what are the ways I have no hand to make my present peaceful and better. It is a healthy practice and will help you get peace.
12. Don’t rush into another relationship
After a toxic relationship, it’s understandable to be looking for something to fill the void, but jumping headfirst into another relationship in the hopes of finding closure isn’t the best idea.
When it comes to healing after heartbreak, sometimes stepping back and taking a bit of time for yourself is a path toward peace. Taking a break can mean different things to different people; anything from creating boundaries with new potential partners, holding off on big conversations that could potentially lead to commitments like marriage or kids, spending more time alone engaging in activities you enjoy, or using therapy as a means of manifesting an even healthier version of yourself are all good starting points.
It’s important to take note of how you felt in your last relationship and look deep within yourself as to what went wrong and what lessons can be learned from it. Listen to your intuition– it always knows best!
13. Seek professional help if needed
Having terms with a therapist plays an important role to get back the peace you are looking for after a toxic relationship. They are trained professionals who are aware of the brain signals people go through after a rough phase. This helps them to guide you on the right path.
They can study your moves and help you take the best step for yourself. Also, a therapist can assist you to deal with post-traumatic stress disorder- a common issue in people coming out of a toxic relationship.
The best thing I find in a therapist is their non-judgemental nature. I can always open up freely to my therapist, who then helps me with a solution that sounds perfect.
How do you mentally recover from a toxic relationship?
A toxic relationship can be mentally and emotionally draining, but recovery is possible. As they say, “The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable,” and that’s an apt description of the weeks (or months!) AFTER leaving a sour situation.
Learning to trust yourself again and to believe in your worth are personal journeys that help rebuild the broken foundations of a failed relationship. By chatting with supportive friends who listen without judgment and surrounding yourself with compassionate people who love and appreciate you for your unique talents and strengths, you can work toward mending your spirit from being hurt.
Meditation or journaling to process thoughts and log accomplishments can increase self-confidence, too. Keeping yourself busy in fulfilling tasks that bring joy – like playing an instrument or dancing around the room to your favorite song – also helps nurture an optimistic outlook on life.
Ultimately, recovery isn’t something that happens overnight; it requires small steps and intentional work every day, however tedious it may seem in the phase of rebuilding yourself into the strong person you know you are.
How do you let go of a toxic relationship when you still love them?
When you still love someone but realize it’s a toxic relationship, the hardest thing is letting go. It can be an incredibly complex and challenging process that requires resilience and self-care. Ultimately, what it comes down to is how much you are willing to invest in yourself versus how much of your energy you’d rather expend on the other person.
Remember that although this relationship may feel all-important now, with enough time and distance you will discover it was only one aspect of your life – not the whole thing. Remind yourself of your worth, and show yourself some tender love and care if needed – prioritize your mental and emotional well-being!
wrapping up finding peace after a toxic relationship
The journey toward finding peace after a toxic relationship may seem daunting, but there are ways to get through it!
Toxic partners are there to make your life nothing less than hell. Encountering threats, emotional tantrums, suicidal notes, and more may be your new pass time. But once you make the decision to quit the drama and be there for yourself, there’s no turning back!
Give yourself some time to heal, and believe me, in a few days or months, you will be just fine. You will be living in peace again, dreaming about your life and trying to achieve your goals. I promise you this too shall pass.
With these tips in hand, know that your journey toward healing will eventually lead you back home – where true inner peace awaits!
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