Heartbroken and can’t stop overthinking after being cheated on? Let’s break free from the hurt & move forward with these much-needed tips!
“Why me, God, why me?”
This is the only question that constantly pops up in my mind when all those late-night messages, birthday surprises, and romantic dates turn out to be mere a lie. This traumatic experience scars you for your entire life. The pain seems never-ending, and it seems impossible to heal the wounds of betrayal.
Days, nights, weeks, and even months pass by, but you refuse to come out of that dark phase. Your mental health deteriorates as you push away everything – close ones, career, studies and so on.
You are actually ready to call it a quit, but bub, is it really worth it? I mean, you loved someone with all your heart and soul. In return, he betrayed your feelings. So, it is his fault, right? It is HIM who should face the consequences and not YOU.
The precious time that you are wasting away overthinking will never come back, dear! You have your entire life ahead, and yet, you are not ready to embrace a newer, better future.
Babe, I know exactly how it feels coz’ my best friend had to go through this living hell. And I did my best to pull her out of that bleak phase. I can’t see you losing yourself a little bit with every passing day.
So now I will be helping you to put a full stop to your habit of overthinking.
And seeing you here is proof itself that you wish to come out of your “self-imposed exile.”
Dear, together we will come out victorious, I promise!
Why are You Constantly Overthinking?
Broken trust and infidelity can make your brain go haywire. You may feel too overwhelmed and insecure. Instances of self-loathing are quite normal. Your confidence level will go down the hill. Also, you may find it hard to trust others now. Your mental health takes a toll, and you experience terrible mood swings, panic attacks or anxiety.
There will be days when you spend your time pondering about all the “What ifs.” What if I did not shout at him?
What if I had not checked his phone? What if I gave him a second chance? What if I tried a little hard? What if I did not delay physical intimacy?
Basically, you are yet able to acknowledge the fact that the person whom you loved like crazy has cheated on you. Your mind is just refusing to move on, and your brain is constantly busy blaming yourself, that guy and thinking about everything that revolves around your relationship.
The breakup has broken you completely, and all you are willing to do now is channel all your energy to your negative thoughts.
But babe, you know what, it’s all in mind!
You are feeding your inner self with hatred, confusion, jealousy, anger and pessimism. You are forcing yourself to believe that nothing can get better now.
So here I am with proven tips and tricks to help you out of this overthinking mode. Girl, let’s get you out of here!
How to Get a Hold on Your Brain and Stop Overthinking after being cheated on?
1. Pause. Reflect. Think. Repeat.
When you are overthinking, you don’t even realize that you are jumping from one thought to another. To come out of that state, it is necessary that you make yourself aware of your thoughts.
Think consciously. Why are you so troubled? Are your thoughts limited to betrayal? Or are you bringing along all those past traumas and career failures as well?
Girl, the moment you find yourself overthinking, take a pause. Breathe long and deeply and ask yourself why you are thinking so hard. Does he really deserve to be in your thoughts? Are you tagging along all your negative baggage? Then, you need to stop RIGHT NOW!
Keep repeating this process until you gain clarity of thoughts.
2. Seek help from friends and family
Bub! Stop taking it all upon yourself. You are hurt, you are tired, and you did nothing wrong! So, do not shut yourself away from your close peeps. Reach out to them for help. Open up about your thoughts. Keep yourself engaged with the people who love you truly. But do not
3. Go to therapy
Take the help of a professional therapist. They can understand the underlying cause of your overthinking. Whether you are facing mental issues because of a recent breakup or some past problems, the therapist will be able to heal you internally. Through their value-laden sessions, they can help you learn coping mechanisms against such self-loathing and overthinking habits.
4. It’s NOT YOU, it’s HIM!
Babe, hold your head high. Chin up and walk with grace. You have done nothing wrong. Your ex mindfully chose to cheat on you and betray your pure feelings. So, there’s nothing to do with your background, body shape, complexion, accent and all such stuff.
What he did were his wrongdoings. So stop blaming yourself for whatever you are going through.
5. Pack your bags and leave your comfortable home for some time.
Bub! I know these times feel so terrible. It is hard to get out of your bed, let alone plan any vacation. But, instead of curling into your bed, crying away every night, and gulping down tubs of ice cream, you need to come out of your room.
In fact, you will have to force yourself to take a break for a while and change your environment. If you can, plan a vacation. If you wish to enjoy some me time, go for a solo trip. If you need some company, take along your girl gang. Changing your surroundings will definitely help you stop overthinking.
6. Practice mindful living
Mindfulness can help you to a great extent in calming down your mind. Do not give in when it gets too overwhelming. Practice breathing techniques, listen to soothing music, and read books to calm yourself down. Keep a water sipper handy and keep sipping in water to stay hydrated. You may also start journaling to declutter your mind.
See, babe, the idea is to keep your mind distracted from those negative thoughts and heal your broken heart from within.
7. Acknowledge the pain
The worst thing you can do to yourself is to go into a state of denial. If you are not ready to face the reality, then this will force you into overthinking. Your mind will create fake stories and break you down every day.
So, bub, please accept your pain. Accept that you fell in love with a guy and that that guy broke your heart into pieces. That’s it! There’s nothing more to think about it. The moment you accept your pain, you will be ready to overcome it and heal yourself.
8. Take help of affirmations
Affirmations have the power to enhance your strength. Initially, it may feel like making a fool of yourself. But as you keep on reciting positive things to yourself, your mind will start believing the same. The idea is to stay positive even in the worst of times.
Now, I won’t lie, bub! This can feel extremely difficult. Staying positive and practicing gratitude when your whole world seems upside down may feel next to impossible. But I know you have got this. Push yourself a bit every day to come out of your negativity.
9. Sweat it out!
Channel your energy into transforming yourself. Get a gym membership for the entire year and announce on social media about your body transformation challenge. This social announcement will compel you to stick to your workout routines on days when you feel too heartbroken to come out of your bed.
Darling! Regular exercise in any form – Zumba, yoga, aerobics, HIIT, etc. can not just give you a great body but will also help you steer clear of your habit of overthinking.
10. Incorporate new habits into your routine
Change your routine and add some fun to your dull and dreary life.
You can either join a new hobby class, start upskilling yourself, or simply spend time with your friends. You can take time out for your pet or start something new. There’s so much to do in life, babe. Why waste this beautiful gift of Almighty for your stupid ex?
11. Avoid casual rebounds
It is a common practice to indulge in casual rebounds once you get your heart broken. Friends and colleagues often encourage you to hit someone new. But I am telling you this from a position of experience!’
NEVER EVER involve yourself in flings to heal your heart. This is not you, babe. You cannot hurt someone else while trying to make your ex jealous. In fact, such casual rebounds only make things complicated, and there you go- stuck in the never-ending loop of overthinking!
What if this guy gets serious with me? What if I break his heart? What if he, too, turns out to be a playboy? Am I doing right or wrong?
Trust me, a casual relationship is never the answer to all the bad experiences which you had to go through!
12. Have faith in KARMA
Do not set out with that vengeance mode on! I know you are dying to take revenge. But wait? Will you get back to your guy? Will you be able to forget all those hurtful words? No, right?
Don’t drag yourself through the mud coz’ that will leave no difference between you and your toxic ex. Let karma do its job. You sit back and relax!
13. Indulge in self-care
Lastly, you need to start caring for yourself. No more wasting time overthinking. Utilize that time to pamper and love yourself. And once you get habitual of the same, you will never want to go back to overthinking.
Girl, spoil yourself with some skin and haircare products. Get some nice outfits. Make conscious efforts and take time out for yourself. Catch on your sleep, enjoy quality me-time, make every day count, and get your life back, darling!
14. set the right boundaries with them
You know what can make your heart understand the remorse and help your brain to stop overthinking after being cheated on? Setting right, high-value woman boundaries!
This means creating healthy boundaries and upholding them consistently.
Establishing clear limits ensures that you are not open to being taken advantage of or hurt again. Clarify what kind of communication is appropriate, including frequency and type (text, phone call, etc.) Make sure that your boundaries serve you and respect your needs.
These boundaries will help keep you safe and emotionally protected as you go through the process of healing after betrayal. When necessary, revisit these boundaries regularly to ensure they’re still serving their intended purpose.
15. Write Down Your Thoughts
Journalling is such an easy way to put your feelings into words and even get all that frustration, hatred, and hurt out there without actually talking to your ex and causing more drama.
Writing down your thoughts and feelings allows you to explore and release them, which can help you work through the pain and find healing. It can help you to organize them and make them less overwhelming.
And once you see them written out, you may be able to better see which thoughts are helpful and which ones are just causing you distress.
Does the anxiety of being cheated on ever go away?
Of course, it goes away! I know it can feel like the anxiety of being cheated on will never go away, but trust me, it does become easier to manage. Sure, it takes time to heal, but with effort and support, you can eventually recover and even develop new perspectives and strength.
It’s important to first acknowledge and validate your feelings so that you can start to move past them in a healthy way. Self-care activities, like journaling and counseling, can be really helpful in addressing your anxieties in a productive manner.
Does the pain of being cheated on ever go away?
Short answer? Yes. The pain of being cheated on may never entirely go away, but it will definitely become easier to manage over time.
It’s important to remember that you can’t rush the healing process, and it’s perfectly normal if some days are more difficult than others. Having said that, with a bit of self-love and patience, it is possible to move through the pain and create a new chapter in your life.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you’ll never experience moments of sadness or anger – but they won’t be as intense as they once were.
How does being cheated on change you?
You know what, I’ll be brutally honest with you. Being cheated on can be an incredibly difficult experience, and it can leave deep emotional scarring. It often causes you to doubt your own self-worth and question whether you’re worthy of being loved and respected.
At the same time, though, it can also push you to become more resilient. It forces you to face some uncomfortable realities and learn to handle them gracefully. You become more discerning about who you choose to trust in the future and learn how to recognize toxic relationships before they start.
Not to forget, you also develop a greater sense of compassion for yourself, as well as empathy for others who may have gone through similar ordeals. In short: while the pain of being cheated on won’t ever truly disappear, it doesn’t have to define you forever!
Final Thoughts on how to stop overthinking after being cheated on
It’s Just a Bad Relationship, Not a Bad Life!
You did not deserve that! But anyways, it happened to you. This does not mean you will forget yourself while engrossed in that pain.
You are a queen and deserve nothing less than that diamond-studded crown of yours. Get out of this phase, bub, and hold the reigns of your life. A bad relationship is not the end of the road.
I hope you find my words encouraging enough to start afresh. And if you need any more help or suggestions, feel free to drop a comment.
I will be there for you, honey! Ciao!
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