Wondering if something’s fishy or oh-so-normal when you say your boyfriend never takes you out? Let’s get your picture cleared, once and for all!
There’s nothing quite like a fun night out with your significant other. But what do you do when your boyfriend never seems to want to leave the house? Is it a sign of trouble in paradise or just his way of being?
If anybody knows this situation, I am. The guy I dated before Parav, Would. Just. Not. Take. Me. Out. anywhere, let alone on dates! We only used to meet secretively in coaching centers or at his second house, where nobody used to come. And you know for what, ugh! 🙄
So babe, I know when your boyfriend doesn’t take you out, it can feel like a game of hide-and-seek, except no one is looking for you. It sucks to feel like you’re stuck in a relationship that’s going nowhere except maybe the grocery store and the occasional family event.
But not every guy is a sign of warning and sometimes, there truly can be a few reasons.
Reasons why your boyfriend may not take you out – red flag edition🚩
1. he doesn’t want to be seen publicly with you
Now, there can be a plethora of reasons as to why – maybe he never told anyone about you both dating, or he’s afraid he’ll run into his other girls (you know what I’m talking about) while with you, or he’s just embarrassed by you.
All of these reasons are straight-up pathetic and no explanation can justify them. So be the better judge here.
This was the situation with my Ex. He’d never take me out because he never told a soul about me (not even his BFF) and then maybe he was too afraid we’ll run into his other girlfriends (with an S).
And in return, he would say things like – Oh, love is just a precious diamond, gotta keep it safe from the evil eye and people who wanna break us apart. Ya, right!
But I still believed him, LOL. Don’t be like me!! Run with all you’ve got!
2. he’s taking you for granted
Maybe, he figured that you’re so much in love with him that he doesn’t even need to do anything or put any kind of effort into the relationship, and you’ll still be there.
Okay, so does he also –
- Not appreciate the things you do for him, big or small?
- Not make enough time for you, and the relationship has become super monotonous?
- Doesn’t listen to you, let alone communicate his feelings to you?
- Constantly ditches date night plans and tells you he’s busy?
- Not show any affection or willingness to compromise?
If the situation resonates with you well, I say he’s taking you for granted. And that’s no goodie!
Reasons why your boyfriend may not take you out – green flag edition
3. He’s just a Homebody
Let’s face it, some people just prefer staying indoors. Maybe your boyfriend is more of a Netflix and chill kind of guy. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t love spending time with you, he just likes being comfortable in his own environment.
Instead of trying to change him, try planning a fun night in. Get some takeout, put on your favorite movie, and snuggle up on the couch.
Every date night need not be outside. Sometimes, you also have to understand that going out often doesn’t match his vibe, so you gotta go 50-50 on this.
But just make sure, he knows that it’s half and half. Don’t be the only one compromising!
4. He’s a Penny Pincher or broke as a joke
Money can be a sensitive topic, especially when it comes to dating. And truth be told, dating really is an expensive game!
So if your boyfriend is strapped for cash, he may not be able to afford to take you out as often as he would like. And that’s okay! Loving someone does not mean gifts and expensive dinners. Yeah, sometimes, you can appreciate them 😉
While it’s important to have open discussions about finances, try suggesting more budget-friendly activities like picnics, bike rides, or hiking. You can still have a great time without breaking the bank. OR, you could split the bill. Maybe even pay the entire bill for a change.
5. He’s super stressed & dealing with a lot of stuff
Life can be overwhelming, and your boyfriend might be going through a tough time. It could be work stress, family issues, or mental health struggles that are taking up his bandwidth.
Instead of taking him not wanting to go out as a personal attack, talk to him and see if there’s anything you can do to support him. Maybe he just needs some quality alone time or a relaxing night in.
6. He’s busier than a one-armed paperhanger
Some people have packed schedules and don’t have a lot of free time to spare, especially businessmen or start-up founders. If your boyfriend falls into this category, he may not have much time to plan outings and dates.
And that’s okay too. Because work is a priority for many, and if he knows how to balance the relationship and work, I think, then you’re okay. But if he’s struggling, either lend him a helping hand or cooperate with him.
Oh, one way of making things spicy is to bring the date to the office! (Of course, use your best judgment here. Call up his colleagues or assistant or work friends and see if he can adjust 15-20 minutes with you today. Don’t just show up on his busiest day without notice!)
7. He Just Doesn’t Realize that it’s been a while
Sometimes, your boyfriend might not even realize that he’s not taking you out enough. Men can be oblivious at times, but that doesn’t mean they don’t care. It’s important to communicate your feelings in a non-accusatory way.
Instead of saying, “You never take me out,” try saying, “I’d love to go out and do something fun together, what do you think?” This approach is more likely to get a positive response.
And if he’s a green flag, he would love to hang out with you and try out some new, fun things or restaurants.
8. He’s as lazy as a cat on a sunny windowsill
Honestly, some people just lack motivation and may not feel like putting in the effort to plan a night out. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you; he just may not be the most proactive when it comes to making plans.
One way to go around this is FORCE him! Easy and simple, right? 😉
9. He’s a big-time introvert
There are extroverts and then introverts. And, of course, he has a hard taking you out because of his nature. Maybe he’s shy of people or becomes anxious from being in a crowded place.
So what’s a way out? You can take help from these ultra-cute date ideas for introverts or decide to give 8 no-questions-asked tickets to each of you in 6 months, where you can take the other person to wherever you want (yep, to crowded places as well!) and also tag along them, even if their pass is for staying in.
How does it really impact your relationship?
Let’s be real, staying in every night sounds like a good idea in theory until you realize you haven’t seen the outside world in months. The lack of date nights and spontaneous adventures can make you feel like you’re missing out on something crucial to a relationship – conversation, connection, and actually having fun.
And it may even feel like he is not prioritizing your relationship or showing you the attention and affection that you deserve. This could lead to feelings of neglect or resentment, which can seriously strain the relationship over time.
So, if your boyfriend never takes you out and about, maybe it’s time to give him a nudge (or a push) toward the exit. Just kidding, but seriously, communicate and find a middle ground that works for both of you. Life’s too short to spend it cooped up on the couch.
What to do if your boyfriend never you out?
1. try to find out what’s going on
First things first, it’s important to understand why this might be happening. Maybe your boyfriend is a homebody and really just prefers to spend his time snuggled up with you on the couch. Perhaps he’s dealing with personal or financial issues that make going out difficult.
Or maybe he’ simply hasn’t realized how much it means to you to go on dates or do fun things together’s a walking red flag and you need to ditch his as* and move on. Whatever the reason, it’s important to have an open and honest conversation with your significant other to understand what’s going on.
2. Now make an effort to find a compromise
Once you’ve talked it out, try to find a compromise. Maybe he can take you out every other week, or you can plan cheaper or free date ideas together. If he’s having financial troubles, maybe you can chip in or find ways to do things together that don’t cost anything at all.
And if he’s just been in a rut or hasn’t realized how much you value spending time together, express that to him and work together to come up with fun ideas of things to do.
3. reevaluate the relationship
If, after talking it through and trying to find a compromise, your boyfriend still refuses to take you out, it’s time to reevaluate the relationship.
It’s understandable to want to be with someone who prioritizes your wants and needs, and if this pattern continues despite your communication and efforts to compromise, it might be a sign that there are deeper issues in the relationship that need to be addressed.
4. don’t forget your self-care!
In the meantime, don’t forget to prioritize your own self-care and happiness. Spend time with friends, pursue hobbies and interests, and remember that you deserve to be with someone who values and prioritizes you.
5. set the right boundaries
Additionally, it’s important to set boundaries and communicate your needs clearly. If going out and doing fun things together is important to you, make that clear and let your boyfriend know what your expectations are.
It’s okay to say no to invitations to stay in and watch TV all the time. And if your boyfriend isn’t willing to try to make things work, it’s okay to walk away from the relationship.
When it’s time to reevaluate the relationship?
If your boyfriend is not taking you out and you’re next-level frustrated with that, you gotta look out for these signs before reevaluating the relationship.
- Is he showing a lack of effort?
- Is this relationship sustained only by your one-sided effort?
- Is he consistently neglecting your needs and wants
- Is he showing disrespectful behavior toward you?
If you’re answering yes, yes, yes, and yes, then babe, it’s high time you look back and decide if it’s really worth it.
How do you get your boyfriend to take you out?
Well, first things first, have you actually asked him to take you out? Communication is key in any relationship, so don’t be afraid to express your desires and wants.
What does it mean when your boyfriend doesn’t take you out?
Now, if you’ve asked him and he still doesn’t take you out, it could mean a few things. Maybe he’s too busy with work or other obligations, or maybe he’s lost interest in the relationship. Either way, it’s important to have an open and honest conversation with him about your concerns.
How often should your boyfriend take you out?
As for how often your boyfriend should take you out, it really depends on your personal preferences and schedules. Maybe you’re someone who loves going on frequent dates, or maybe you’re both busy and can only manage once a month. As long as you’re both happy with the frequency and quality of your dates, that’s all that matters.
What does it mean when your boyfriend doesn’t post you?
Now, let’s talk about the dreaded “not posting you” situation. Social media can be a tricky thing in relationships, but it’s important to remember that it’s just a small part of the bigger picture. If your boyfriend doesn’t post about you, it doesn’t automatically mean he’s not serious about the relationship or hiding something. Just like with taking you out, have a conversation about your feelings and see where he stands.
Final thoughts on why my boyfriend never takes me out
Ultimately, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer when it comes to why your boyfriend never takes you out. It’s important to communicate with each other and understand where the other person is coming from.
Because being in a relationship means finding a balance between your own needs and desires and those of your partner.
BUT, even after heartfelt talk and compromises, if things don’t work out, then remember that you deserve to be with someone who values and prioritizes you. Don’t be afraid to speak up, set boundaries, and prioritize your own self-care and happiness above all else.
See you next time, gorgeous toodles! xo
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