Is your relationship in danger? Learn about the 15 deadly relationship killers that can threaten your happiness.
Falling in love with your man of dreams and getting your love reciprocated can be the best feeling in the entire world. And once the two of you enter your courtship period, nothing else matters. You can’t stop gushing about your partner. He does not miss opportunities to surprise you. Everything seems perfect. And this is what experts call the honeymoon phase in a relationship.
Once the initial “butterflies in the stomach” moments fizz out, your relationship tends to grow and evolve. This phase can be quite challenging for every couple, but those who are ready to put in genuine efforts definitely survive the ups and downs of their relationships together.
However, during this challenging time, both partners should be vigilant about the relationship killers. These nasty relationship killers creep in when you are least aware and feed onto your relationship until the two of you part ways forever.
Sounds like a parasite?
Yes, they indeed are 😖
Wanna know if your relationship, too, has been infested by these relationship killers?
Need help in keeping these relationship killers at bay?
Fret not, your girl is here to help you identify different relationship killers and steer clear of the same.
Stay with me to protect your dream relationship from falling apart!
What on Earth is a Relationship Killer?
Relationship killers are basically behavioral practices displayed by one or both partners. These practices, if not controlled and put an end to, can destroy even the strongest of relationships.
So when one or both of the partners start behaving in a specific way, the relationship goes for a toss. The couple indulges in such practices either unknowingly or they do not care anymore.
Every couple faces hard times when it comes to their relationship- thanks to hectic lifestyle, societal demands, peer pressure, and family expectations. It is during these tough times when a relationship is most vulnerable to relationship killers.
Couples often say things to each other that they do not mean. Or, just out of rage, they commit mistakes that are irreversible. And when such actions start to seem like a repetitive pattern, they are termed relationship killers.
Is your relationship affected by relationship killers too?
Let’s find out!
15 Relationship Killers You Must Keep an Eye On!
1. Lack of trust
It goes without saying, without trust, no relationship can survive.
Trust building starts from day 1 when you meet your partner for the first time ever. Gradually you get to know each other well.
And this is exactly why I believe love at first sight, may not work for everyone. ‘Coz if you cannot trust a person, then your attraction or love will fly out of the window in no time.
Which time you get to know if the both of you have the same goals when it comes to career and life. You understand each other’s habits-good ones as well as the bad ones. And that’s how you get to trust each other.
But after a certain period of time, if trust issues creep into your relationship, then you should definitely consider this as serious. Trust issues can be fated for your relationship and can create lots of misunderstandings between you and your partner.
Now must be wondering how to avoid this messy situation. I would suggest you talk it out with each other. Holding back doubts has not done any good to anyone.
Also, in case there’s a trust issue between you two because of any past trauma, it is advisable to visit a therapist. Expert advice will heal you internally and help you gain each other’s trust.
2. Poor communication & holding feelings in
Is there too much silence between you two?
Don’t you find enough topics to talk about with each other nowadays?
Then, babe, this can be another relationship killer who is trying to gradually destroy your bonding.
See, everything, and I mean everything, can be solved between a couple if they are ready to communicate with each other.
If you or your partner are not open to communication, and cannot speak up or listen to each other without getting defensive or angry, then this is indeed a relationship red flag.
When it comes to communication between a couple, things should be smooth and respectful. There should be no room for hurling abuses, shouting, getting angry or irritated.
Babe, the idea is to solve an issue at hand. The purpose of communication is NOT about winning an argument.
If you feel that there is a lack of proper communication in your relationship, both of you should sit down and decide to talk it out. Listen to each other without being judgemental. And then put your point forward without showing aggression.
Speak your heart out and listen to what your partner has to say. Together solve whatever is troubling you.
3. Dishonesty in any form
This is yet another relationship killer that every couple must be aware of.
Babe, if you are doing anything that you do not feel safe discussing with your partner, then you are being dishonest.
The same holds true for your partner as well.
The secret to a successful and durable relationship is honesty from both partners. If anyone of you is being dishonest, then your relationship can go down the drain.
So, make it a point to stay honest irrespective of what life throws at you.
Darling, at the end of the day, it’s all about the choices you make.
4. Unhealthy attachments to partner
Is your partner your be-all-end-all?
See, when in love, it is absolutely normal if your life revolves around your partner. But are you doing this at the cost of your profession, me-time, friendship, and social life?
If your answer is a big “yes,” darling, congratulations! You have just unlocked a new relationship killer.
See, when you get way too attached to your partner, he starts feeling suffocated. He craves to go back to his old times when you were not there. And soon, this results in conflicts.
Instead of considering your partner as your whole life, start focusing on yourself. Take time out for your passion, interests, and hobbies. Focus on your work ‘coz that’s what comes in handy in times of financial crunch. Enjoy your social life.
Give your partner a breather. Let him enjoy that part of his life that does not include you, for instance, his family, friends, work and so on.
Love is not about holding tight. It’s about letting go to see who eventually comes back!
5. No or bare minimum physical intimacy
Physical intimacy is a complete non-negotiable between a couple. Of course, sex is not everything in a relationship. But yes, it plays an important role in strengthening the bond that you share with each other.
With the passage of time, work pressure and responsibilities make room between a couple. Also, the initial excitement dies down.
I understand how charged up things were initially when the two of you had just met. He could not keep his hands away from you. And babe, you did not waste even a single opportunity to lure him to your bed.
If you have started experiencing a strange, cold silence in your bedroom of late, it is high time you take action.
First of all, convey what you feel to your partner and make him understand what you are missing out on. And keep trying to spice things up between you two.
Hug each other, cuddle, get cozy, and kiss without any reason. All these will slowly bring back the lost charm in your physical relationship.
6. Taking your partner for granted
This is the worst you can do to your partner. One of the biggest relationship killers, this habit of yours can create rifts between you two.
No matter how many years you are together, you should not stop making efforts for your partner.
To keep your relationship a smooth sailing one, ensure that you keep on trying to make your partner feel special. The more you put effort, the stronger your relationship gets with time.
Babe, consider your partner as a kiddo sometimes who craves your affection, attention and love. And you will be sorted!
7. Holding grudges against your partner
As a couple, it is normal to have disagreements. You two are different individuals with different ideas, backgrounds, desires, traits and so on. So, conflict of thoughts is nothing abnormal.
But when instead of peacefully talking it out, you tend to hold grudges, things go down the hill.
And this can be a huge relationship killer.
Babe, if you or your partner has a habit of holding onto grudges and you keep bringing on old conflicts in every disagreement, it is bound to impact your relationship negatively.
So, here’s what you should do to save your relationship. Talk with your partner if something is bothering you. Communicate everything that is on your mind. If your partner has the habit of holding grudges, sit with them and ask compassionately why they are so upset.
The key is to fix things with each other’s help!
8. Not supporting your partner and having their back
Every individual deserves unconditional support from his/her partner. And when that pillar of support is missing in a relationship, experts call it yet another relationship killer.
Whether or not your ideas, values and dreams match that of your partner, you two must back each other up in all situations.
Motivate each other, and stand by each other’s side. Do not look down upon each other’s ambitions and goals.
9. Shifting blame on your partner without considering anything
Playing blame games is not cool at all. In fact, if a couple keeps blaming each other for everything wrong in their life, then it should be considered a relationship killer.
If you or your partner is in the habit of shifting blame in the face of the slightest inconvenience, then babe, your world is on the verge of falling apart.
If you want your relationship to last long and be full of love, then each one of you needs to be responsible enough to own up to any mistake.
Maturity lies in realizing that blaming solves nothing. Taking the right action together as a couple in the right direction is the right approach to facing life problems.
10. No willingness to resolve the issues
Do you keep stretching the arguments endlessly?
Are you not willing to put an end to your disagreements?
The inability or unwillingness to resolve conflicts can doom your relationship forever.
It is, therefore, necessary that you acknowledge the difference of opinion, discuss about it and move on.
The key to having a healthy and loving relationship lies in resolving your conflicts with maturity, patience and lots of love.
11. Dwelling on your past
Stop bringing your past between you two.
If you are not able to offer your best in this ongoing relationship because of a painful past, or if you are focused way too much on your partner’s past, know that you are ruining your relationship with your own hands.
Accept that you both had a past.
Take time to heal yourself and seek professional help if the past seems too overbearing.
The sooner you let go of past events, the better it is for your current relationship.
12. giving power to Baseless assumptions
Just because you have known each other for years now does not mean you understand each other completely. Making assumptions can sometimes prove fatal for your relationship.
Actually, you want to believe that you know the next move of your partner. But your assumptions cannot be 100% right every time.
For instance, you may assume that your partner does not want to take that solo trip.
You may assume that he will easily forego his job to shift with you.
But by making assumptions, you are just putting more pressure on him.
So, instead of making assumptions, simply ask what your partner wants or feels. This will make it a great deal easier for your partner to speak up and share his thoughts and ideas with you.
13. Monotony in the relationship
Boredom or monotony can be a HUGE relationship killer.
The beginning phase of any relationship seems so exciting and adventurous because you guys tend to explore each other in different ways. But now that you have been together for a considerable period of time, you know each other from the inside out. So, there’s no scope for exploration left.
On top of it, life gets more complicated- thanks to work issues, family expectations, and other responsibilities.
My advice would be to keep things exciting in your relationship. Bring back that element of surprise once again. Take your partner out for dinner out of the blue. Gift him his favorite watch on a Monday morning.
Plan ahead and book a trip in the middle of the busy week.
Spice up your sex life.
Such gestures make your relationship less predictable. And the monotony fades away in no time.
14. Unfulfilled promises
Promises are meant to be fulfilled.
Broken promises can literally give your relationship a slow death.
A broken promise can break your trust. You will no longer rely on the words of your partner. And this, in the long run, can end your relationship on a bitter note.
So, make a promise only when you have it in yourself to fulfill it. And give it your everything to fulfill your promises and stand true to your words.
Love is not easy, you see!
15. being selfish
When in a relationship, you have to make adjustments at certain levels. Both of you have to compromise at different points. That’s how you make your relationship a blissful and long-lasting one.
But if both partners are seen involved in selfish activities, that relationship is going to end sooner or later.
If you or your partner are making every decision driven by selfish motives, then your love will suffer the most.
Darling, there’s no room for selfishness in any relationship. If you wish to spend your life with your partner, both of you will have to make some sacrifices to ensure the longevity of a relationship.
Is it Really Time to Call it a Quit?
Do not give up on each other until you have put your best foot forward to solve all your issues.
Babe, it is never too late if you really wish to make amends.
If right now things are not going well between you two, I would suggest you refer to this article and identify the relationship killers that are drifting you apart slowly.
Once you have identified them, start working on them with your partner. Try to convince him that it is not you versus him. It is always you two versus the rest of the world.
If you have been wrong all this while, seek forgiveness and change your bad habits. If he is responsible for the mess, talk it out peacefully and find out a solution.
If needed, take the help of a relationship counselor.
You guys just need to remember the reason why you two came together at all. Once you realize that long-lost, old love, I am sure both of you will give your relationship another chance.
There’s always this opportunity of starting over, isn’t it?
That being said, if you’re frustrated and think that this relationship has become so toxic that it is stealing your mental health and you want to buy the out ticket, you can refer to this great article on When is enough enough & you should call it quits!
Parting Thoughts on serious relationship killers
Blessed are those souls who love and get loved in return!
If you are lucky enough to have your partner by your side, do not let him go because of petty issues, ego clashes, and misunderstandings.
Work on your relationship. Get rid of all the relationship killers.
And most importantly, love each other unconditionally!
Until next time….
Related articles to relationship killers
- How To Reconnect With Someone You Love
- How To Reassure Someone You Love Them
- Is He Losing Interest? Here Are 15 Telltale Signs That He Might Be + What To Do
- How To Make A Man Feel Loved And Respected: 19 Easiest Ways To Do So