does he need space or is it over? That age-old question—is practically a staple in any dating dictionary.
The truth is, everyone needs space at one point or another—not only in relationships but in life too. It’s human nature to crave freedom and break from routine.
But there’s space, and then there’s space.
You know when they say, Maybe I need some space to be myself and think about it, it sinks your heart and makes you wonder whether they truly need just space or if is it a sign they are looking for a breakup.
And when you’ve put so much into a relationship and most importantly love the other person, you’re just not looking for the latter part.
Sometimes it’s pretty plain and simple to guess which someone wants, space or breaking up. Other times, we’re left looking over and over for an answer, getting frustrated with ourselves when we don’t find it. So much so that our brains just shut down when we hear or see signs remotely related to that. Ever happened?
I had a friend who was so tired of hearing I need space that he literally developed a phobia of that. Any time his new girlfriend talked about it, he would get traumatized and never wanted to lean into that.
Going through the confusion and hurt that may come with giving him space is more than your small tiny brain could handle. So let’s just find out Why your boyfriend needs space and what you can do in that time.
Why do men need space?
If your boyfriend said he needs space, there are most likely some legit reasons (good and bad). Men are emotional fools. Beneath their strong persona, you’ll always find a vulnerable and sweet little animal scared to open up.
So when they have a reason, whether it’s with you or not, they’ll most likely pull themselves from the situation instead of dealing with it. You know how thy say in Men are from Mars and women are from Venus that when something feels off in a relationship, men would most probably want to hide in their ‘man cave’ to hide and figure things out and women would like to sit and have a good communication about what’s happening.
He asking for space in a relationship may not be always bad news. There are two times when he asks for space. To clear his head or when he’s done with you. Each of them will have signs so that you can either relax calmly or let your way out easily.
In those scenarios, try to comfort yourself with these reasons and try to work on stuff that may need your focus instead of crumbling in confusion.
When is asking space in a relationship good?
Not good exactly, but it just means that ut’s not on you and you can do things to improve the situation. So ya, that does sound good to me!
1. He may need to recharge and reflect on his life
Let’s face it, guys can be a bit odd at times and leave without explanation. It may stem from the fact that they are used to having alone time in their “man cave.” Maybe he feels like he needs some time away from people, especially if everything seems to be crashing down around him.
He might want an opportunity to separate himself from external pressures like work or family and just take a breather for a change. He may need this chance to recharge and reflect on his life in order to gain clarity about what direction he should take next.
Life is full of changes and detours, so giving him some time alone makes it easier for him to see the bigger picture when things don’t seem so chaotic anymore. Not everyone needs the same breaks, but make sure he knows that you’ll support whatever decision he makes during this period – that could be all he needs to make the right choice going forward! And it would show him that you are mature enough to handle all kinds of situations in the future.
2. he is running away from a deeper emotional connection
Whether it’s our past traumatizing relationships, or our upbringing, sometimes we just cannot let go of things even when we want them to.
Letting your walls down and giving your everything to the other person is scary for some (and not because of their fault). It’s just how they are.
And if your partner is someone from this category of people, it’s not hard to assume that he is asking for space only because he is afraid to death on building an emotional connection only for things to not work out in the end and he getting hurt.
In that case, just ask him if there are things you should know. If he wanna talk or just wanna keep running all his life. Just be polite because at this point in time, he needs comfort and you are not in this for breaking up.
Or it could be the exact opposite…
3. he wants to commit more fully to your relationship
Space can be a good thing too. Just picture this, when you are ready for something serious but you never thought you could be, you would need some time to figure out if this is truly what you want, don’t you?
I mean, possibilities are it could be the same with them. If everything was working greatttttt, your boyfriend is asking for space only to make things greater!
4. They don’t feel worthy of you
This one goes against logic, doesn’t it?
I mean, if they need space from you, your first thought is that you’re doing something wrong. Even if you don’t know what that is.
However, this one might be on them. It might be somewhat their own fault. After all, there have been moments where we were undeniably at fault too.
When we don’t feel like we deserve something, we’ll normally push it away. We just can’t accept it. It’s natural human instinct. Yes, even if we really want it and we’ll miss it being present in our day-to-day. Only so we don’t feel uncomfortable by having something we consider out of our league.
Maybe it’s his deep-rooted insecurity or past trauma that led to this, but if you truly love him. Just remind him of how much you love him and wanna be him and how others say that you guys look cute together. Just something to level up his confidence!
[ Related Article: How To Make A Man Want You Bad: 19 Sly Ways To Get Him Insanely Hooked ]
5. He just needs and loves his personal time
You know what, it may not even be too dramatic. Maybe he is just the kind of person who needs their personal space-time to time to feel refreshed and rejuvenated. He may be programmed like that from his childhood.
Or he just needs an off-time from work, social anxiety, family pressures, and you. And there’s nothing bad in that. Everyone deserves that, right?
when is asking space mean bad news?
6. you’re not giving him what he needs
You’ve surely heard about the different love languages and all the ways there are to give and receive love.
Well, this isn’t quite the same, just similar.
It’s about giving someone what they need or want and taking away what we know they don’t want. While having good intentions and their best interest in mind, of course.
And no, it’s not just about having sex or being physical. There can be far too many things here. Maybe you are never there for him. Maybe you’re not a good listener. Or you failed to show him the love language he actually understands.
It could be that you didn’t care when he let his walls down a little. Maybe you didn’t appreciate him for his efforts. Or made him feel for granted. Or your constant fighting and drama are not giving him mental sanity.
And here, my love, no amount of good intentions will make them stop wanting and needing the things you’re not giving them.
What’s their next step?
To get some time off you, obviously. Anybody would do that. Why would we stay somewhere where we are not getting what we want?
You might feel that it shouldn’t happen like this, or maybe he should have communicated things with you.
But before that, ask yourself, did you give him that option? To talk peacefully? Without sarcasm and useless accusations?
I’m not berating you here. I annoy my boyfriend all the time. But always keep this sticky note in your brain – Till when a man would tolerate our nuisance?
If you think there’s still time, you could subtly leave him a message saying that you are here to talk to him and listen calmly to whatever he has to say.
7. He doesn’t want a fast-moving relationship
Ever been in a relationship where he gave you the key to his apartment on 3rd date? It’s scary, right?
And when men feel the pressure of advances that come too fast and furious, they’ll either make their way out of the relationship or just create a little, healthy distance so you both can look at where your romantic connection is headed.
And honestly, there is not much fault of yours. Women naturally invest more in a relationship. And guys can take some time to figure out if this is what they truly want. So, if you genuinely feel that things were accelerating a bit fast, let him have his time.
Until then, you can keep your calm and let him know that you’re here when he needs you.
Space can inspire clarity and give each person the time and opportunity they need to discover what kind of relationship works best for them individually. Giving yourself time and distance allows natural feelings to flow back into the picture so you can assess the situation rationally.
[ Related Article: 24 No Bullsh*T Signs He’s Never Coming Back, So Stop Wasting Your Time ]
8. he just got aware of your *certain* traits
Maybe he doesn’t even want space from your company because he likes it too much. It may be that they’re being influenced and a little pressured by what they think they should do after getting to know you more.
For example, if you have one or two toxic traits that he knows he should stay away from. Or if you’re just insanely better than any of the girlfriends he’s had, insecurities knocking?
Doesn’t it seem logical for him to distance you simply because he feels it’s the right move? Even if it’s not, be aware these things may be among his worries and living somewhere in his subconscious mind.
Believe him when he says it’s not your fault. Most of the time, it really isn’t.
9. You guys have been fighting a lot
Fighting and arguments are common. Some even say that there is this phase in a relationship where you both just can’t get your shit together.
But when that phase extends to months, and taunts and sarcasm becomes the new norm, you know things are not looking healthy. And believe it or not, someone pulling the string and calling it quits was inevitable.
And when so much happens, that too with the person who you rather want to be your peace than a headache, asking for space to clear your mind about what you need or to focus on some other important things is natural.
10. He found someone new
I don’t know him so I cannot tell if he’s a player or he just fell out of love. But if things are not good between you two and he is asking for space, possibly to break up soon, he either already has someone else to lean on so he doesn’t feel the pain of a breakup or he’s just onto his next catch!
Did you see any red flags? Does he have a lot of female friends which you don’t really think are actually his friends? Do you think he could cheat? Does he talk to one girl way too much? Are there any other signs that he is a player?
If you are here, feeling all this can be true, babe, I’d ask you to pack your things and give him all the space he needs. A player or not, you cannot force someone to be with you. So you better should not!
Does he need space or is it over?
It’s a tough question, isn’t it? When the one you love just needs some space and you’re not sure what to do. You might take it as a sign that it’s over, but this does not have to be the case!
There are two times when he would ask for space. Either to clear his head or when he is done with you. There will be signs for each of them so you can either relax calmly or let your way out easily.
If your partner is asking for space to work on themselves, give them that liberty and try to distance yourself too. Talk it through honestly with them when they are ready and don’t be afraid of your feelings.
And remember to give yourself some space too- just because somebody else is taking theirs doesn’t mean it has to mean the end. Focus on yourself, listen to the right kind of tunes, and do whatever makes your heart feel good during this time apart – good times await!!!
But if the relationship is going through a thunderstorm and then he’s asking for space. I’d suggest giving him that after telling them politely that you’ll be waiting for them no matter what.
You both could use some time off the fights and taunts to reflect and re-evaluate what you guys want and if you can get that from this relationship. Think about what the problems are and if you are willing to work on your part to make this relationship a better place. See if you are way too dependent on him.
After some space, you’ll both know what you want. And if that means breaking up, just tell your heart that this has a better reason because there are bigger things waiting for both of you.
What to do when your man needs space?
1. Give Him that
The first thing you need to do when your man needs some space is to actually give him some space. It may be hard to do, but it’s important to respect his wishes and give him the time and space he needs. If you try to crowd him or force him to spend time with you, it will only make things worse.
2. Don’t Take It Personally
It’s important not to take his need for space personally. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you or that he’s not interested in being with you (if there are no red flags or scary signs). It’s just a normal part of relationships and something that everyone needs from time to time.
3. Try to Understand His Perspective
Try to put yourself in his shoes and understand his perspective. He may be feeling overwhelmed or stressed out and just need some time to himself. If you can empathize with how he’s feeling, it will be easier to accept his need for space. And it will show him that you’re a keeper!
4. Keep Yourself Busy
While it’s important to give him space, it’s also important to keep yourself busy. This is not the time to sit around and mope about the situation. Instead, use this time to focus on your own life and hobbies. Keep yourself occupied and distracted so you don’t dwell on the situation too much.
5. Avoid being too clingy
One of the worst things you can do when your man needs space is to constantly contacting him or try to talk to him about what’s going on. This will only make things worse and will likely push him away even more. If he wants to talk, he’ll reach out when he’s ready. Until then, just give him some time alone.
6. Don’t Beg or Plead for His Attention
Another mistake you want to avoid is begging or pleading for his attention. This will make you look needy and desperate, neither of which are attractive qualities. If he sees that you’re doing fine without him, it may actually make him more interested in being with you again – the reverse psychology magic!
7. Focus on Your Own Happiness
Instead of focusing on your relationship, use this time apart as an opportunity to focus on your own happiness. Work on bettering yourself and becoming the best version of yourself possible. When you’re happy with who you are, it will be easier for him to see why he wants to be with you again.
8. Trust That Things Will Work Out
It can be difficult to trust that things will work out when your boyfriend wants space, but it’s important to have faith in the relationship. Relationships go through ups and downs all the time, so this isn’t necessarily a sign that things are going bad. Just because he needs some space doesn’t mean he’s going to leave you. Try to take a deep breath, relax, and trust that everything will work out in the end for good!
9. Communicate With Each Other Openly
Once things have calmed down, it’s important that you communicate with each other about what happened. Talk about why he needed space, how it made you feel, and what your expectations are for moving forward. This will help ensure that both of you are on the same page and can avoid any misunderstandings in the future.
10. Seek Professional Help if Needed
If your relationship is going through a tough time, it’s always a good idea to seek professional help. A therapist can help identify any underlying issues in your relationship and provide guidance on how best to deal with them. If necessary, they can also provide individual counseling sessions to help work through personal issues.
Final Thoughts on does he need space or is it over
Understanding why someone is doing something will always be the key to figuring out questions like these. That can mean observing their behavior when alone with you, and when with others. It can also mean actively listening to their thoughts, worries, and every feeling.
So that you’re not left clueless when the moment comes when you need to answer something like that. In this case, it’s “Does he need space or is it over”. If you’ve done all these things, trust your intuition to give you the right answer. After all, trusting and being confident in yourself will only help improve you and the situation, babe! And in the end, if you guys are meant to be together, you will.
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- 24 No Bullsh*T Signs He’s Never Coming Back, So Stop Wasting Your Time
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- How To End A Long-Distance Relationship With Someone You Love
