Signs He's NOT That Into You

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You really must protect your heart if you see these signs of him not being that into you!

That feeling of butterflies in your stomach, when you cannot stop thinking about someone when you are constantly smiling, everything seems to go well. But how can you tell that he is not just being friendly? 

More than that, some men are very confusing. They can say they like you, but their actions show otherwise. They’re not are not going to hit you over the head or spell it out. They’ll be more subtle and just keep doing things like they are in you, and you’ll have to look harder and figure it out on your own. IDK why dating is so hard but it is what it is!

There are lots of signs he’s not that into you. And we’re not talking about the obvious ones, like when he gives you that “let’s just be friends” speech. No, we’re talking about the signs that are so subtle that you can miss them even when they’re staring you right in the face. 

If you’re seeing any of the following 15 signs, then the answer is he is not that into you. 

17 subtle signs he’s not that into you

1. He Constantly Flakes on Plans

It’s always disheartening when someone you’ve been looking forward to seeing flakes out on plans, especially when it’s a recurring issue. If he ditches on your plans multiple times, regardless of the reason, he’s not interested in you like you thought.

When someone is really into you, they’ll go out of their way to make sure plans happen and find other ways to make up for it if they can’t; they don’t want to leave a bad impression in case there’ll be future dates. 

They also make an effort to keep in contact and let you know what’s going on. A guy who flakes on plans on more than one occasion isn’t interested and does not have feelings for you – so don’t waste your time waiting around for him.

2. He Talks About Other Women a Lot

he is not serious about you

It’s no secret that if a guy talks a lot about other women, then he is not that into you. If he talks about his exes, celebrity women, female work colleagues, and so on, it’s a sure sign that his heart is elsewhere.

To be fair, it’s natural for your man to have a girl crush here and there. But if his conversations regularly turn to other women more than you, then that’s a red flag. If he brags about his conquests or makes comparisons between them and you (not in a positive way), it’s time for you to move on.

Take stock of how often he talks about other women—if it’s more than usual, then chances are he has found someone else who interests him more than you do. It’s an unmistakable sign that he’s not that into you and it may be time to call it quits.

3. He Still Uses Online Dating Sites

If he’s still using online dating sites, he’s looking for other options and he’s keeping his options open. If he was really interested in you, he would have deleted his dating profile and he would be focused on pursuing a relationship with you.

 It’s possible he’s just using you for sex or as a rebound after his last relationship, so it’s important to be honest with yourself about your own feelings and desires.  If you’re just looking for a casual relationship, then there’s nothing wrong with that, but if you’re looking for something more, then you should move on because you’re not on the same page.

4. He Disappears for Days on the End

is he into me

He’s been MIA for a few days, and you’re not sure what’s going on. When you try to get in touch with him, all you hear are crickets. Chances are, he’s not into you.

There are a few reasons why he might disappear like this. Maybe he’s just not that into you, maybe he’s busy with something else, or he’s just pulling away. But the most likely scenario is that he’s trying to distance himself from you because he knows that he’s not that into you.

If this is happening, it might be time to move on. Don’t waste your time trying to figure out what went wrong or chasing after someone who isn’t interested in you. Cut your losses and find someone who will appreciate your time and energy.

5. You Don’t Feel Special Around Him

Have you ever had the feeling that you’re not the only one on his mind? If he sees you, but the conversation is still pretty general, and there’s no flirting or special attention to detail about you, then he could be sending you a clear message that he’s not interested.

It can be hard to identify this sign when you haven’t experienced it before, but if you take a step back and listen to what he’s saying—or more precisely, how he’s saying it—you might realize that he doesn’t really care who you are.

If this is your situation, then chances are that it’s time for you to move on to someone else who can make you feel special and appreciated.

6. He’s Not Open About His Life

Signs He's NOT Into me

When it comes to relationships, communication is key. This isn’t to say that he needs to tell you everything about his life, but if he isn’t open about the little details or just doesn’t want to talk about it at all, this could be a sign that he’s not interested in investing in a relationship with you.

If things seem a bit one-sided and like you’re doing most of the talking, then chances are he’s not that into you. If you’ve been seeing him for more than just a few weeks, yet coming up with excuses when asked why you haven’t met his friends or family yet, this could be a sure sign that he’s not serious about you.

Further, if he’s unwilling to make plans and only agrees to meet up last minute or with little enthusiasm, this is another sign that he probably doesn’t have any real feelings toward you.

7. He Doesn’t Make an Effort to Get to Know You Better

If a guy is truly interested in you, he’ll go out of his way to get to know you better. After all, it’s not just physical attraction that matters! He’ll make an effort to learn more about your interests and hobbies, your passions and aspirations. He’ll ask questions and actually listen to what you have to say.

But if he’s not into you, you won’t see any of that. He may not even remember what you told him the last time you hung out. He won’t ask follow-up questions about your work or family because he doesn’t care enough about the conversation or the person behind it. He’ll be detached from the conversation and more interested in how soon he can get away from it.

8. You Feel Like the Only One Making an Effort

Signs He's NOT Into You

 If it starts feeling more like a one-sided relationship, chances are he’s not really into you. 

It’s natural for both men and women to make an effort to keep relationships strong. But when it comes to you, it feels like all the energy is coming from your side. You’re always initiating dates and conversations, never the other way around. To top it off, you’re always scrambling for last-minute plans because he just isn’t organized enough to set something up in advance. 

This type of guy won’t bother to put any extra effort into getting quality time with you. He will hang out, but he won’t put any extra thought or consideration into it. He doesn’t take the initiative to reach out and check in to see how you are doing. He won’t remember things you told him and won’t care enough to ask follow-up questions.

Yup, that’s a major sign he’s not interested.

At the end of the day, if someone is really into you, then they will make time for you and show that they care. 

It’s normal to have some lopsided moments but if it starts happening consistently and you’re feeling like your man isn’t putting in the equal effort, then run away! Don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t show they are genuinely interested in getting to know you better.

9. He’s Non-Committal About Your Future

He’s never really mentioned what the two of you will be doing a month from now or even next week. In fact, he always seems to be quite non-committal about anything related to your future together.

At best, he’ll say that he’s not sure what he wants and he doesn’t want to commit to anything yet. At worst, he’s already planning on breaking things off with you but doesn’t have the guts to do it himself. Either way, it’s not a good sign.

10. His Apology Is Always ‘I’m Sorry You Feel That Way’

Signs He is NOT That Into You

We’ve all experienced this one before. He somehow manages to take responsibility for nothing yet still apologize for the situation—it’s actually a pretty clever way of avoiding accountability or sympathy. Interestingly enough, he never actually apologizes for his actions but rather apologizes that you feel bad. He might even say something like, “I’m sorry that you feel that way,” or “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings.”

It’s important to note that this type of response is often used to deflect the conversation away from himself and keep it focused on your feelings instead. It’s also a way to avoid feeling guilty or admitting wrongdoing, which is likely why he isn’t taking the situation seriously.

11. You Never Get to Meet His Friends and Family

If you’ve been seeing him for a while but never get to meet his friends and family, it’s a sign that he’s not that into you. After all, if you’re someone special to him, then he would want to introduce you to the important people in his life.

It’s possible that he just doesn’t like introducing people to his friends and family unless things are getting serious, so if this is the case, take it slow and see where things lead. However, if all he talks about is these other women but never introduces you to anyone else in his world, then it could be a sign that this isn’t going anywhere.

It can be really tough when someone doesn’t include you in their future plans but it’s important to remember that this doesn’t mean anything negative against you—it simply means that they don’t see a future with you and aren’t interested in investing any more energy into this relationship.

12. The Few Compliments He Gives Always Involve Physicality

Signs He's NOT That Into You

If your special someone rarely compliments you, but when he does, it’s always about physical beauty or the way your body looks, then that’s a huge red flag. He’s not that into you if his compliments are solely focused on physicality and he never words of appreciation for things like your intelligence, kind heart, and personality.

When someone is really into you and values you as more than an object of desire, they’ll make sure to show it. This can be through the way they look at you, the things they say, and how they express their love and admiration for all the traits that make you WHO YOU ARE.

If all your significant other seems to do is talk about how hot you look in a certain dress or how amazing your eyes are, then that can mean two things: either he’s only interested in a physical relationship or he simply doesn’t appreciate who you truly are as a person.

13. His Idea of Quality Time Is Face-Timing While He Multitasks

When someone is really into you, they’re all about giving you their undivided attention. That means when it’s time for quality time, they don’t try to multitask by juggling multiple devices or posts during the conversation.

If your man is constantly face-timing while he’s scrolling through his feeds, checking the score of the game, chatting with other friends online, or even playing games, it’s probably a good sign that he doesn’t actually appreciate the moments you two share.

It can be hard to admit when someone isn’t invested in you; however, unless he’s making an effort to provide an environment that allows for uninterrupted conversations, it’s a telltale sign that he’s not serious about getting to know you.

14. He Ignores the Important Things You Say

Signs He's NOT That Into You

If he completely tunes out or ignores you when you talk about important things that matter to you, like your career or family matters, then it’s time to re-evaluate the relationship.

He might also be ignoring your requests or suggestions entirely. Maybe you asked him to attend an event or pick up something for dinner, and he just disregards it and pretends it never happened. Or worse yet—he tells you “yes” only to avoid the conversation and never follows through anyway. This is a huge red flag that he doesn’t care about your feelings at all.

15. He Tells Stories of His Exes to Make Comparisons

When someone’s really into you, they won’t be telling stories about their exes to make comparisons. If he’s too eager to bring them up, it’s likely a sign that he still has feelings for them or is subtly trying to get you to measure up.

Even if the stories seem complementary, be aware that he may be subtly trying to tell you something. It might not be apparent right away, but if he’s talking more about his past relationships than his current ones, then it means that you’re not at the top priority of his list.

Be aware of this type of behavior and pay attention to the context in which stories of exes come up. If it feels like he’s constantly making comparisons, then it’s time to move on and find someone who will make an effort to put you first.

16. He’s never available when you want to see him

Signs He's NOT That Into You

A guy who’s not that into you will always have reasons and explanations for not meeting you or showing up whenever you need him. Maybe a sudden work came by, some friends showed up, or he’s swamped with stuff and whatnot. There will ALWAYS be an excuse.

Yes, sometimes they are genuine, and sometimes stars just aren’t aligned for you two to meet. But there’s a thin line of difference when someone is genuinely busy and when he’s diligently dodging you.

And when this starts to happen, don’t be an emotional fool and let it go. Listen to your intuition and see if he’s avoiding you or not. Sense the tone. Watch the actions. What does he do when he eludes you? You’ll get an answer!

17. He seems more interested in spending time with his friends than with you

Of course, friends are just as important and you must not even try to come among them. That’s not even a point.

But if he’s wayyyy too inquisitive in hanging out with them instead of building a bond with you, I would sense suspicion. If he’s ditching your plans purposely for a long time and always spending time with his friends, it’s a clear sign he’s not that into you.

It’s one thing to balance relationships and friendships, but it whole another when a person is just negating the friendship part at the cost of you.

Make Sure He’s Actually Into You if It Looks Like He’s Not!

When it comes to men and relationships, it’s important to be able to read the signs. If he’s not interested, it’s better to know sooner rather than later. If you’re reading this and see that he’s exhibiting a few of the signs, it’s time to move on. Don’t despair, though! There is plenty of other fish in the sea, like literally!

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