Wondering if he’s hurting after the breakup way too much? These signs will make it all clear!
Now that the initial shock of your breakup has worn off, you may be feeling a little more like yourself. But even though you’re starting to feel better, it’s tough to tell whether or not your ex is doing well after the split.
Whether you’ve been trying to stay friends with them, are just curious about their well-being, are looking to help your ex out, or just want to be understanding, it can be tough to tell if they are hurting, especially if your ex is really good at hiding their feelings and emotions.
Breakups are not easy for everyone. It takes every ounce of you to move on from someone you once loved so dearly. And if he’s showing these 15 signs of being hurt after the breakup, it’s just a lot harder for him.
Strap in, and let’s get started, shall we?
15 Signs he’s hurting after the breakup
1. He Is Asking Your Friends About Your Relationship Status
If you’ve been broken up for a while and you hear that your ex is asking your friends about you, it’s a sign that he’s not over you yet. He’s trying to get information about you from people who know you better than he does, or he could be looking for any clues that you might be moving on.
He wants to know what you’re doing and who you’re doing it with. He’s hoping that your friends will tell him that you’re not seeing anyone else and that you’re still single. If your friends tell him that you’re dating someone new, he’ll be jealous and upset. He’s not ready to see you with someone else. It’s a good idea to just shut him down. There’s no need to give him any information that will just hurt him more.
2. He Is Drinking and Partying More than usual
It can be tough for someone to process the end of a relationship and make sense of his feelings. While it isn’t the healthiest coping mechanism, an ex may be acting out by drinking and partying more than usual because he’s struggling to deal with the breakup in a healthy way.
Overindulgence in drinking or partying might be his way of avoiding his feelings and not considering the consequences of his choices. If he feels like he has no other way to cope, this could become destructive behavior that needs to be addressed.
Rather than reach out to others or use positive coping mechanisms, he may find temporary relief in alcohol and social scenes. He might also surround himself with people who won’t give him a hard time about having a good time.
3. He Seems to Be in a Funk
When a breakup happens, it’s normal to feel a little down in the dumps—it’s a sign that your ex is beginning to process the severing of the emotional connection. However, if it seems like he’s particularly somber or your ex-partner’s mood shifts abruptly and often, it’s a key sign of deeper emotional distress. It can be easy to miss, but if you’re paying attention, you’ll be able to spot the pattern.
We all have our bad days and good days, but if his mood swings seem particularly extreme or happen very often, he is having difficulty processing what happened between you two. He could unexpectedly go from wildly emotional and vulnerable one moment to being inexplicably angry and frustrated the next. He could also move from being on top of the world one day to seemingly unreachable another.
It’s possible your ex may be struggling with feelings of guilt, anger, or frustration after the breakup. He may also feel overwhelmed by making sense of conflicting emotions.
These moods may not last for very long, but they can be enough for you to notice this pattern. If this does appear to be out of character for him, it could be an indication that your split has had a greater emotional impact than either of you realized.
It can be hard to watch someone you care about suffer, but sometimes offering support from afar and giving your ex space can be gentler on both parties than pressing for answers or contacting too soon after the breakup.
4. He’s Silent and Stops Communicating
If your ex was usually pretty chatty and has suddenly gone silent after the split, that’s one of the biggest red flags there is. When we’re going through a tough time, we tend to isolate ourselves from the people who might be able to offer us comfort.
So if he’s stopped reaching out to you, it could be that he’s doing just that. It could also mean that he’s struggling and doesn’t know how to cope. He may be feeling lost and uncertain and may not want to face you or talk to you about what’s going on.
The best thing to do in this situation is to give him some space. Let him know that you’re there if he needs you, but don’t push him or try to contact him constantly. That will only make things worse and may push him further away.
5. He’s Telling Friends or Family Members That He Still Loves You
If your ex is telling friends or family members that he still loves you, it’s a clear sign that he’s hurting after the breakup. He may be trying to convince himself that he’s over you, but he’s clearly not. He’s hoping that by saying he still loves you, his friends or family will convince him to give you another chance.
He’s also trying to get your attention by making it known to everyone how much he’s still in love with you. If you’re not interested in getting back together with him, you should let him know that you’re not interested in hearing about his love for you.
If you’re still interested in getting back together, you should let him know. Otherwise, he’ll just be stuck in limbo, hoping that you’ll change your mind.
6. He’s Not Interested in Anything He Used to Enjoy
This is one of the clearest signs he is hurting after the breakup. He doesn’t want to go out, he doesn’t want to see friends, and he doesn’t want to engage in activities he used to love. All he wants to do is mope around and wallow in his sorrow.
It’s like he’s lost all motivation and joy. He’s lost interest in these things because they remind him of you. And that’s the most telling sign that he’s still hurting and trying to move on.
7. He Avoids Discussing the Breakup
Is your ex trying to pretend like nothing happened or doesn’t want to get into painful conversations about the breakup? That’s the surest sign he is hurting. In fact, when you bring up the subject of the breakup, he may change the topic or say he doesn’t want to talk about it.
This is a sign that he has not healed yet and is trying to avoid discussing any painful topics related to the breakup. He is not ready to talk about it and needs more time before having that type of visual with you. If this happens, it’s best just to give him some space and wait until he’s ready before bringing it up again.
8. He Expresses His Feelings Through Music
Maybe your ex isn’t forward with his emotions, but that doesn’t mean he’s not hurting after the breakup. One way you can tell he is hurting is if you hear him constantly playing sad breakup songs. Music has an incredible ability to express feelings and emotions that we can’t otherwise put into words.
So keep an eye out for any changes in his music taste, whether it’s through social media or through conversations with friends. Chances are, he may be using music as a way of processing the split.
Also, if he’s suddenly blasting post-breakup bops with lyrics about taking back control, this could be a sign that he’s trying to take back the power of his situation and move on with his life. He might also play upbeat or inspiring music to give himself a much-needed confidence boost in order to find the courage to move on.
Bottom line: whatever type of music he’s playing, it could be masking some difficult feelings within him.
9. He Withdraws From Friends and Family
When someone is going through a hard time, it can be difficult for them to maintain their usual level of connection with people in their life, particularly if the breakup has been sudden or unexpected.
So, if the person you’ve been seeing is suddenly distant and seems to be avoiding their friends and family, it could be a sign that they’re hurting in the aftermath of your breakup.
This doesn’t mean that they’re completely isolating themselves and not talking to anyone, but they may be spending significantly less time socializing or may seem uncharacteristically quiet.
It’s important to remember that breaking up is never easy, and it’s normal for people to need some time to regroup and process the situation on their own terms. Respect that space and allow them the time and privacy to heal in whatever way works best for them.
10. His Social Media Activity Changes
It’s natural for us to want to put our best self forward and project a certain image of ourselves online. When someone is going through a lot of pain or sadness, they don’t always have the mental energy to do that.
If you noticed that his social media activity dropped from what it used to be, it’s a sure sign that he’s hurting after the breakup.
Maybe there’s been an increase in the number of posts that are all either sad or nostalgic in tone. Or, maybe you used to see him post on a regular basis but now everything has gone quiet.
Of course, it could also mean he just needs some time away from social media in general and this isn’t related to the breakup at all. But if his social media activity and tone suddenly change, it may be one of the signs he’s hurting after the breakup.
11. His Friends Don’t Seem to Know What’s Going On
If you know he’s usually very open with his friends and now they’ve clammed up, it means he’s bottling in his emotions and trying not to show how much the breakup has hurt him. It also means he is finding it hard for him to talk about the breakup, even to his closest confidantes.
He might also be afraid of what he’ll say if he opens up about it—or maybe he didn’t want them to find out how much it affected him.
Either way, this is a sign that your ex is hurting after the breakup and isn’t quite sure how to handle everything.
12. He Exaggerates His Sense of Happiness
If your ex seems to be having too much fun or is engaging in activities and conversations that don’t align with his usual behavior, chances are that he is overcompensating. The breakup might have left him feeling vulnerable and overwhelmed, so now he might be trying to make it seem like nothing has changed.
Not only does he post about activities on social media that he had never done in the past, but He also constantly talks about how amazing and happy his life has been lately since the breakup. He may even comment on how much better it is without you—all of these things are signs that, on the inside, he is actually hurting a lot.
13. He Starts Dating Right Away
When people are in intense pain, they often act out of desperation to mask their hurt and make themselves feel better. That means if he is dating someone new just a few weeks after the breakup, it’s a chief sign that he’s not over you. He is trying to bury his feelings by replacing you with someone else.
This is especially true if he’s dating someone who looks a lot like you or is the complete opposite of you. He might be trying to fill the void that you left or he might be trying to get over you by getting under someone else. Either way, it’s not a good sign.
14. He Tries to Make Contact With You Constantly or at Odd Times
If your ex is trying to make contact with you constantly, such as calling or texting you multiple times a day or even just sending random messages late at night, then that could be one of the signs he is hurting after the breakup.
He may be trying to maintain the connection and recapture those feelings of intimacy. He may also be trying to make sure that you know that he still cares about you and is trying to stay in your life in some way.
It may be a sign that he needs someone to talk to and maybe even a distraction from his pain. However, it can also be interpreted as him trying to control your life and get back with you. So if this is happening, make sure you take some time to think through what it all means before responding.
15. His Lifestyle Changes Drastically
Have you noticed any drastic changes in your ex’s lifestyle, such as drastically upping their physical activity or completely changing their diet? Have they up and go on a weekend away with friends, or are they suddenly volunteering for charity?
It’s completely normal to want to make changes in life, but if these changes happen suddenly after the breakup, then it could be a sign that your ex is still coming to terms with it.
People often turn to exercise or a fad diet when they’re trying to cope with things in life, and it is a telltale sign that your ex is struggling after the breakup. This could also be an indicator that your former flame is in deep thought and contemplation. If you notice some drastic changes in lifestyle, talk to them and show your concern.
what to do when you see him hurting after the breakup
The truth is that even if you think they don’t deed your help, they might appreciate the support!
While it’s not your job to fix him, it’s important to remember that they are still a person with feelings, and they are still deserving of our compassion. More than that, this is someone who once brought you so much happiness at some point, so no matter how bad the breakup was for you or how much he put you through, offer your support from far in any way you can.
Even if they don’t want it, just knowing that you’re there for them and that you care can be enough to help them through this tough time. It can also do more than you realize!
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