what to do when you're single

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After getting out of a 6 year-long relationship, I can quite literally bet that many of us must have thought that being single can sometimes feel like you’re stuck in a waiting room, waiting for your name to be called.

But guess what? This “waiting room” can actually be the best time of your life if you know how to use it!

I mean, being single doesn’t mean you’re incomplete, well of course—but it surely means you have all the time in the world to turn yourself into the best version of yourself. And when the right person comes along, you’ll be ready to shine even brighter in a healthy, fulfilling relationship. It does sound exciting, right?

So, what do you do while you’re free?

1. Know Yourself Better

First things first, get to know the most important person in your life—you! Get to know yourself intimately. And no, I don’t mean just your basic likes and dislikes. We’re talking about deep self-reflection. Take this time to figure out your values, goals, and boundaries.

Journaling, solo trips, or even just spending a quiet evening with a good book can reveal so much about yourself. Ask yourself questions like:

  • What makes me truly happy?
  • What are my deal-breakers in a relationship?
  • How do I handle conflict?
  • What are your non-negotiables in a relationship?
  • What makes you tick?
  • What are your passions?

Understanding yourself better will not only boost your self-confidence but also, you’ll be in a much stronger position to find someone who complements you, rather than completes you. After all, you are already whole!

2. Heal from Your Past Traumas

We all have a past, and sometimes it’s not pretty. And carrying emotional baggage into a new relationship is like trying to build a house on a shaky foundation—it’s bound to collapse.

Use your singlehood to work through past traumas, whether they stem from past relationships or childhood experiences. Therapy, journaling, and even talking openly with trusted friends can be incredibly therapeutic.

That being said, remember, it’s okay to seek professional help. Healing is a sign of strength, not weakness.

By healing these wounds, you’re setting the stage for a healthier, drama-free relationship in the future. Remember, a healed heart loves more fully.

3. Treat Yourself Better Than Any Man Can Ever Do

Imagine this—you’ve set such high standards of self-love and care that your future partner has no choice but to meet them. Start treating yourself the way you want to be treated. Indulge in self-care routines, buy yourself flowers, pamper yourself with little luxuries, and speak kindly to yourself.

This isn’t just about bubble baths and spa days (though those are fabulous!); it’s about fostering a deep, unwavering love for yourself. When you treat yourself well, you won’t settle for anything less from others. Plus, it’s a fantastic way to boost your self-esteem and self-worth.

4. Build a Strong Support System

Your friends and family are your lifeline, especially when navigating the ups and downs of life. Use this time to strengthen those bonds. Surround yourself with people who uplift you, challenge you, and love you unconditionally.

A strong support system not only provides emotional stability but also offers a reality check when you’re too deep in your feels. These relationships are crucial—they remind you that love comes in many forms, not just romantic.

Plus, it’s a lot easier to maintain a healthy relationship when you have a solid squad cheering you on.

5. Set Healthy Boundaries

Healthy boundaries are like the invisible fences that protect your emotional well-being. They’re critical to any relationship and even more so for your own mental health.

Practice saying “no” without feeling guilty. Learn to prioritize your own needs without neglecting those of others. If you can set and respect boundaries now, you’ll find it much easier to maintain them when you’re in a relationship.

Plus, knowing your limits helps you understand and respect your partner’s too. It’s a win-win!

6. Pursue Your Hobbies

Remember those hobbies you shelved while you were in your last relationship? It’s time to dust them off! Whether it’s painting, hiking, playing the guitar, or binge-watching documentaries about ancient civilizations, indulging in your interests makes you feel alive and whole.

Plus, having a rich, fulfilling life outside of a relationship makes you more attractive to potential partners. You’ll have stories to share, skills to showcase, and a sense of independence that’s incredibly appealing.

And who knows, you might even find your “the one” during one of the activities only?! A girl can dream, right? 😉

7. Get Financially Savvy

Money talk isn’t just for Wall Street brokers. Being financially literate can give you a significant edge in your next relationship. Start by understanding where your money goes each month.

Create a budget, stick to it, and maybe even begin investing. Financial stability reduces stress and gives you the freedom to make relationship choices based on love, not financial dependency.

Bonus points if you can confidently split the bill on date night without breaking a sweat! 🤑

8. Work on Communication Skills

Ever heard that communication is the key to a healthy relationship? It’s true! Practice expressing your thoughts and feelings openly and honestly. Learn to listen actively without planning your rebuttal while the other person is talking.

Effective communication isn’t just about talking; it’s about understanding and being understood. Even your friends and family will appreciate the new, more articulate you.

And when you find that special someone, you’ll both be better equipped to handle conflicts and build a stronger connection.

9. Take Out Time for Your Health

Okay, tell me, who looks pretty as a couch potato? Not the “It Girl” that you are! So, it’s essential to take care of your physical and mental health. This means eating well, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep.

Don’t forget about your mental well-being—try meditation, journaling, or even therapy if you need it. When you’re in a good place health-wise, you’re more likely to attract a partner who values these aspects of life, too.

Plus, being healthy gives you the energy to enjoy life to the fullest, making you a happier person overall.

10. Set All the Goals You Wanna Accomplish

Before jumping into your next relationship, why not knock out some personal goals? I’m sure if you can just sit and think, you can list down quite a few things you’d wanna do without your partner hanging around.

Whether it’s advancing in your career, traveling to new places, or learning a new skill, now’s the perfect time to focus on these dreams.

Achieving your goals will not only give you a sense of accomplishment but also boost your confidence. When you’re confident and content with where you are in life, it sets a strong foundation for a balanced and fulfilling relationship.

Bonus points if you can transform into your ex’s “hot ex”. lol. 😍

11. Be Open to New Experiences

Being single doesn’t have to be boring—it’s an opportunity to try new things and expand your horizons! Take that cooking class you’ve always been curious about, go on spontaneous trips, attend that pottery class you’ve been eyeing, go skydiving, or even just try a new hobby.

These experiences will not only make your life richer but also introduce you to new people and perspectives. Keeping an open mind and being adventurous can help you grow as an individual, making you more dynamic and adaptable in your future relationship.

12. Travel

If you can, Travel! There’s no better time to see the world than when you’re single. Traveling solo or with friends can be a deeply enriching experience that broadens your horizons and teaches you more about yourself.

Visit new countries, immerse yourself in different cultures, and savor the freedom of crafting your own adventures. Traveling builds resilience, adaptability, and a sense of independence—all qualities that contribute to a healthier relationship.

Plus, the memories you create and the lessons you learn while traveling will stay with you forever, enriching your future relationships with shared experiences and stories.

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