Sex is cool. It’s fun and all that jazz. But it’s not everything.
Yes, physical intimacy is a significant part of any relationship. But it is just one piece of a puzzle. Emotional security, shared values, and a healthy connection are the real MVPs.
You know when you laugh with someone so hard that your sides start hurting? Or when you know your partner will always be your biggest cheerleader? That’s what we’re talking about.
No matter how important sex is, it can never precede the basics of a solid foundation. Because people fall in love to share their life with someone; sex is always secondary.
So, let’s talk about 17 things that are more important in a relationship than sex and see what actually matters.
1. Trust
Trust is the real deal, the bedrock, and the whole shebang. If you can’t trust your boo, is the relationship even worth it?
Trust means letting someone see you as you truly are—messy, imperfect, human. You don’t need to pretend when you’re around them.
You can share your deepest and wildest secrets without any fear of judgment. And of course, you can trust them to remember your favorite coffee order!
2. Compatibility
I think the “polar opposites” trope is exciting. You find someone who does everything differently and that’s attractive.
But unless you two truly appreciate the differences and are willing to take an interest in each other’s hobbies, this is a sinking ship.
Compatibility is not about how similar you are to your partner. But how far you guys can go for each other. The adjustments and compromises you can make happily.
So, it doesn’t matter how great the sexual tension is. It’s not worth it if you’re not compatible.
3. Communication
Communication is not just talking, but connecting on a deeper level. Sharing your thoughts and listening to theirs. It’s the bridge that brings you two closer.
Some instances of strong communication include resolving conflicts, being honest and open, positive criticism, expressing yourself without the blame game, and not giving the silent treatment.
4. Spending Quality Time
Quality time can include sex, but it does not equate to just that. It’s about getting to know each other better without any distractions (yeah, I’m talking about your phone).
See, everyone enjoys sex. But if you don’t have a genuine connection with your partner, no amount of “bedtime” can save your relationship.
And I’m not talking about having a fancy candlelight dinner or going to a high-end restaurant for a date. By quality time, I mean sitting on a couch and chit-chatting. Telling each other about your day, going into trivial details, and whatnot.
Deep conversations, silly jokes, trying out new things together, playing games—that’s the real deal.
5. Empathy
What keeps two people together despite their differences is empathy—putting yourself in their shoes and trying to understand what they’re truly going through.
When you’re empathetic, you show how much you care for the person. Because you’re willing to see things from their perspective—what they think and how they feel.
6. Shared Vulnerability
I know. It can be terrifying to rip yourself open (metaphorically) and let the other person enter your world. But trust me, it’s equally magical and all the more worth it.
Because sex will not wake up at 3 am to console you. But a partner who is also your safe space definitely will.
So, be it admitting that you believe in unicorns or sharing something traumatic from your past, gather your guts and pour yourself into your partner. (And let them do the same.)
7. Respect
When you love someone, you love the similarities and the differences. So, respect goes much beyond saying “please” or “thank you.” It’s about valuing the other person without any conditions.
You don’t agree with them? That’s fine. You don’t have to fight it. Respect their individuality and the fact that it’s okay to be different and still be together.
8. Support
Here’s the thing with support—it’s way more satisfying than sex.
Imagine someone who has always got your back. It’s like a warm, cozy blanket in the form of a person. Or like your favorite food that satiates your taste buds as well as your soul.
What most people forget is that support isn’t just about the big things. It’s about having someone who listens as you vent about your boss, or what your weird aunt said this time.
9. Passion & Commitment
Passionate sex is cool. But passion towards each other? Now, that’s HOT!
If you wish to have a long-lasting relationship, passion, and commitment are must-have ingredients, girl. It’s the glue that holds you together showing that you CHOOSE to be with each other every single day.
Every relationship requires effort and commitment is that first step. That’s how you build something that puts a smile on your face and makes you feel alive.
10. Laughing Together
Let me ask you one thing—would you rather have a he-made-me-laugh-so-hard-that-I-peed-my-pants moment or just sex after a bad day?
I don’t mean to belittle sex, but when you’re feeling like a total dumpster fire, it’s not really the first choice.
Laughing releases stress hormones, thus making the mood lighter. You’re sharing joy and enjoying each other’s company—what else do you need, hon?
11. Intellectual Intimacy
This refers to meeting your partner on the same intellectual plane. You know, learning new things together and creating shared experiences.
Putting yourselves in different situations (as a couple) strengthens your relationship. It can be something as simple as enrolling in a cooking class or taking a spontaneous trip.
New adventures bring you closer. Something that the same, old, boring sex might not do. (Okay, maybe not that boring, but you get my point, right?
12. Loyalty
Loyalty isn’t just faithfulness in a relationship. Ya, that’s definitely a big part, but loyalty also extends to the “ride-or-die” energy between two people.
As in, no matter how tough things get, they will be there for you. That they will choose you over and over no matter what life throws at you. That’s loyalty.
13. Happiness
A happy relationship is way sexier than any position you can find on the internet. Sex keeps you happy, no doubt. But happiness is not exclusive to sex.
I mean, would you want to spend the rest of your life with a one-night stand? Maybe yes, but only if that turns into something meaningful—a shared future.
So, while it’s good to keep things spicy in the bedroom, don’t make it your top priority. Focus on finding true happiness in your relationship.
14. Befriending Your Partner
Friendship is the real meat of the relationship. Love gets redefined when your partner is also your go-to person.
You can’t wait to hang out with them. They are always on your mind. And you can fart in front of them without getting a side-eye. That’s what you must aim for.
And when the foundation of your relationship is friendship, sex becomes more enjoyable, intimate, and meaningful!
15. Apologizing
Yes, babe. Apologies are much more important than sex. Because they keep your relationship moving forward.
It shows that you’re willing to admit your mistakes and take responsibility for screw-ups without letting your ego get hold of you.
And the best makeouts happen after apologies! You know, when you’re honest because you don’t want to lose this beautiful person? Now that’s a major turn-on!
16. Boundaries
Snuggling 24/7? Cute.
Boundaries? Cuter.
Let’s be real—you’ve got your careers and tons of responsibilities to take care of. So it’s alright if you want to skip sex tonight and just get a good night’s sleep to wake up early.
Also, personal space is a real thing. Don’t feel like cuddling at the moment? Absolutely fine. Your partner must respect your boundaries and vice-versa.
17. Personal Growth
You know how sometimes our mood affects our surroundings? Like if you’re dejected, you are highly likely to perceive things negatively?
That kinda happens in relationships, too. Lack of focus on personal growth can put you off track, and believe me, sex won’t help even a wee bit.
When you’re the best version of yourself, you’re able to enjoy things to their core. You’re optimistic, and heck, even ready to step out of your comfort zone!
So, prioritize your growth and find someone who pushes you to be anything but stagnant.
