When enough is enough? When to chop it off and choose sanity over a few seconds of love?
Seeing your relationship falling apart is perhaps one of the worst feelings of life!
It hurts like hell!
Investing your time, energy, heart, and soul in a person only to feel trapped with him in the relationship is the worst nightmare for any girl.
You can literally feel the love inside you dying, one breath at a time. Every day you wake up with new hope to set things right. But your tear-soaked pillows tell a whole different story at night.
You introspect a lot and want to break free of this endless suffering. But your heart refuses to believe that everything was finished long ago. You feel afraid to accept the truth.
The never-ending battle between your heart and brain torments you like nothing else! Meanwhile, your health deteriorates. Your mental health takes a toll. Your performance deteriorates at the workplace.
Your friends and family want you to come out of this toxic relationship. But your timid heart comes up with thousands of excuses to try a little more!
Dear, I know your eyes have teared up while reading this. I can literally feel the warm teardrops that are gushing down your cheeks. And trust me, I know how much it hurts to know that the man whom you once loved with all your heart seems like a stranger nowadays. And that’s why I am here to pull you out of this mess!
I have seen someone very close to me die every day in an abusive, loveless relationship. And that, I promise, I won’t let happen to you, dear. All I need is your trust and time. Just hang on there with me, and you will be in a better position soon!
Without much ado, let’s start!
How Much is Too Much in Any Relationship?
No relationship is perfect, and a little disagreement or conflict is natural. However, if arguments have become a daily ritual, and you two cannot agree on any topic, then consider it a serious red flag. If you cringe or sigh on seeing your partner instead of getting happy and excited, girl, there’s seriously something wrong in your relationship.
If you have put in rigorous efforts to make things work for the two of you and your partner shows no sign of change, then babe, I am sorry to say, you already have had enough.
See, you deserve to be in a relationship with a person who understands you. He should be able to read your mind just by looking at your eyes. He should be responsible enough to prioritize you and strike the right balance between his professional and personal life.
However, if your man chooses everything else over you, and refuses to put in his share of effort, then things are definitely not right. And babe, it is high time that you decide not to take this behavior anymore.
By staying in a relationship that is mentally and physically traumatizing, you are doing more harm than good to yourself. So, do yourself a favor and take let go of this soul-sucking relationship.
20 Signs to Know when enough is enough!
No matter how hurtful it gets at times, your lovestruck, emotional heart will refuse to believe that things are irreparable in your relationship. But you must take things into your hands and decide what’s good for you. Your life is too precious to waste on a scumbag who does not think twice before shattering your heart into pieces!
If you are looking for a sign, I have got you covered! Here’s what you should not tolerate anymore in your relationship:
1. Your partner abuses you verbally, emotionally, sexually or physically.
Abuse in any form should not be tolerated in a relationship at any cost. If he hits you in a fit of rage or abuses you sexually, then dear, you must walk out of this relationship NOW! Maybe you wish to wait a little longer, hoping in vain that this guy will change someday. But the truth is that if you are not safe with your partner, then you are stuck in the wrong place.
Emotional and verbal abuse, too, can take a toll on your mental and emotional health. So, if your partner indulges in any type of abusive activity, come out of the relationship then and there.
2. He does not respect you.
Mutual respect is one of the core attributes in any relationship and is a complete non-negotiable. If any one or both the partners fail to show due respect to each other, then that relationship will definitely crumble sooner or later.
If your partner disrespects you, then take this as a HUGE red flag. Being your partner does not give him the right to insult you.
If he is always disrespectful of you and your opinion, then there’s no reason to save your relationship anymore.
3. He cheats on you.
Has he cheated on you in the past? Is he still disloyal to you? Then he is a serial cheater, and you should not entertain his promiscuous activities anymore. Your relationship died the first ever day he cheated on you.
When there is true love between two people, no amount of tragedies and difficulties will make a committed man/woman go astray. Cheating is not a mistake. It is a well-calculated gesture made by an adult.
So, if your guy has been cheating on you and shows no sign of remorse at all, or if he is completely in denial mode, then there is no hope of recovering this relationship. No amount of love and dedication on your part can bring him back. In fact, you, my girl, do not need such a spineless man at all.
4. He makes fun of your insecurities in person as well as publicly.
If your man does not care about your insecurities and keeps making fun of them continuously, then you should definitely talk to him. But if he does not change this habit and continues to humiliate you in person as well as in public, then babe, you should seriously do something about this.
Making fun of someone’s vulnerability is highly unacceptable in any relationship.
5. He is not available emotionally for you.
The emotional availability of partners is imperative for the success of any relationship. You should be able to share all your feelings with your partner without the fear of being judged. You deserve a person who listens to you at the end of an exhausting day. He should be your biggest emotional support.
However, if your partner refuses to give you the much-needed emotional support, babe, simply walk out of your relationship.
Emotion is what makes us human. And to live your entire life with a person who shows no sign of emotional availability is equal to living in hell.
6. Your partner body shames you ruthlessly.
Body shaming, that too from your partner, can be gruesomely hurtful. And babe, if you had to go through this excruciating pain even once in your life, know that I am so sorry for you.
It’s your body and your life. No one has the right to body shame you based on your weight, complexion, body shape and so on. If your partner is habitual of body shaming you, know that this is another red flag.
Talk to him. Let him know that it hurts like hell. If he still continues to body shame you, give it back to him in equally rude language and call it quits immediately.
7. He never prioritizes you.
You deserve to be among his priorities. After all, he is your partner. There can be some times when he has to choose work or family or a commitment over you. But he should compensate for it soon. Also, such things should be rare.
But if this always happens and he refuses to prioritize you in his life, then babe, you are with the wrong guy.
If someone loves you genuinely, he will prioritize you always. And he will be doing this happily. If you have to consistently keep requesting your partner to become a part of his list of priorities, there’s no point in staying in this relationship.
8. He is still in a close relationship with his ex.
There are certain boundaries that every individual must follow when in a relationship. Maintaining distance from an ex is one of them.
So, if your man maintains a close relationship with his ex even after your repeated complaints and disapprovals, take it as a sign.
You deserve a partner who understands your concern, anger and insecurities. A true lover will never do anything that hurts his girl. So, if you are wondering whether or not you have had enough in your relationship, then dear, this is it!
9. He keeps flirting with every girl he meets.
You cannot be in a happy relationship with a playboy!
Someone who keeps flirting with all the women around does not deserve to be in your life.
Men should respect other women and not keep flirting around. If your partner does not change even after your repeated complaints, it is high time you leave him all alone.
10. His values and goals are poles apart from that yours.
In order to maintain a healthy relationship with your partner, your goals and values should align completely. Otherwise, with time, your relationship will lose its warmth and charm.
In the long run, non-alignment of goals and values can drain you emotionally and compel you to derail from your career goals or moral values.
11. The word accountability does not exist in his relationship.
Do you find your partner to be highly irresponsible? Does he take reckless decisions always?
Well, darling, this does-not-give-a-damn attitude may have dire consequences.
If your man never behaves responsibly and takes immature and impulsive decisions every time, you should consider it as a red flag.
You are not there in his life to fix him. Rather, you are in a mature relationship with an adult. The two of you should complement each other and contribute towards making your lives better.
However, the highly irresponsible behavior of your partner will soon make you feel that you are babysitting them. Of course, you can give yourself multiple chances with your guy and hope for him to change with time. But after a certain period of time, such reckless behavior does turn you off and irk you out completely.
12. He wants drastic changes in you.
Does he want you to change completely? Does he find flaws in the way you talk, walk, or carry yourself?
Babe, without acceptance, love cannot grow. Accepting someone just the way they are is the truest form of love.
But if this guy wants you to change completely, then take no more s**t and simply end your relationship.
‘Coz you need a partner and not a makeover artist!
13. Your partner does not trust you.
If there is no trust, consider the relationship dead already.
Does he keep pestering you for your passwords?
Does he keep checking your phone and laptop quite often?
Does he refuse to leave you alone with your friends?
Does he never give you privacy?
Then there’s nothing left in your relationship. You don’t have to prove your loyalty to your man. Your actions are enough to prove that. If he still chokes you with his doubts, call it a quit immediately!
14. He never cares for you while getting physically intimate.
Does he get too aggressive during sexual intercourse? Does he hurt you and not care about your pain and discomfort while making love? Does he force himself on you quite often when you are not in the mood?
Babe, physical intimacy is a form of showing your partner how much you love him through physical gestures. Now I agree a certain amount of aggressiveness may turn you on, but if it feels hurtful or more like an assault, darling, you should walk out of your relationship. If you want, you can even inform concerned authorities about the same.
Consent and comfort are both non-negotiables when it comes to physical intimacy.
15. He is allergic to spending “Just Us” time with you.
When was the last time the two of you spent some quality time together? Were both of you happy?
Does he sulk the moment you plan to go out on a date?
Does he ALWAYS find his boys-night-outs more attractive than your candle-lit dinners?
Does he come up with last-minute excuses to cancel your date plans?
Girl, if your answers are positive, you should end it with this man.
A man who loves you with all his heart will find excuses to be WITH you and not AWAY from you. Read that again!
16. He does not value you at all.
Has your partner ever expressed his gratitude for having you in his life?
Has he ever told you that he can’t live without you?
Okay! Maybe he is an introvert and cannot express himself much. But do his actions reflect the same feelings for you?
Does he put in extra effort to make you feel good and wanted?
Does he hype you up when you accomplish a feat?
Does he lend his shoulder and tissues when your heart is filled with sadness?
If all your answers are negative, darling, you have taken enough s**t. Wait no more and set yourself free of this trap.
17. He refuses to make the slightest of compromises for the relationship.
Every relationship requires a couple to make certain adjustments and compromises. No two persons are the same, and they are bound to make certain changes if they wish to stay happy together.
But if you are the only one in your relationship who is making herculean efforts to make your relationship work out, there is something terribly wrong, babe!
If your partner refuses to compromise even a little for the relationship, there’s no purpose left to stay in that relationship anymore.
18. He keeps lying to you, always.
Some harmless lies are common. For instance, he may have broken the watch by mistake that you gifted him on your first anniversary. And he comes up with a harmless lie to cover that up.
But if lying has become his natural trait and he lies to you all the time, then dear, you should definitely leave him.
A man who does not have the guts to say the truth will always keep creating fake scenarios to keep you busy and will never reciprocate your love the way you deserve it.
19. Your partner is commitment-phobic.
Is he afraid of entering into a committed relationship? Does he always try to evade questions pertaining to your marriage? Is he in this relationship just for fun? Does he hide your relationship from his friends and acquaintances?
In that case, babe, you should immediately break up with this guy. If he does not have the courage to accept you in public, then he for sure has no plan to take this relationship to the next level. For him, this relationship is just a fling thing.
20. He does not give you any private space.
Being in a relationship does not necessarily mean that you two will always have to spend time together. There will be moments when you will want to enjoy some me-time. But if your partner behaves way too clingy, and does not give you any privacy, then you should seriously reconsider this relationship.
Parting Thoughts on when enough is enough
There’s no use in staying in a relationship that drains you emotionally and brings out the worst in you. If you are unhappy in your relationship even after trying to fit in so hard, you should walk out of it without any delay. There’s no need to live with years of trauma and a toxic partner.
You, my girl, deserve a better life and a far better relationship. And I promise you will find love in the most unexpected place. Right now, even though you may feel that your entire world is crumbling down, trust me, it is NOT! Years down the lane, you will thank yourself for taking this courageous decision.
Once you are done reading this article, I want you to think hard and take the long-awaited decision that you have been postponing forever. You can seek help from your family or friends. Feel free to reach out to me in the comment section.
And once you are out of this mess, don’t forget to visit a therapist. Their professional assistance will give you the strength to cope with these trying times. Moving on won’t be easy. But I promise that these efforts won’t go in vain.
So girl, stop crying over that lost relationship. Choose yourself this time, and then never look
Sending loads of love and strength your way!
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